The Rebbe's guidance on avoiding and resolving disputes — in shuls, schools, organizations and communities:
Avoid disputes. Disputes within a shul harm its holiness and its blessing; don't take sides (IK 3527). Avoid disputes everywhere, and especially in Eretz Yisrael (IK 1462), and avoid them above all over money (IK 1761). Don't waste time on fruitless arguments (IK 1481); arguing during outreach visits is usually counterproductive (IK 7632_star). Avoiding disputes and negative speech brings blessing (IK 8231), and ignoring discord sown by one person often lets harmony return (IK 3873).
Peace over custom. Peace takes precedence over one's personal prayer customs when leading services in another shul, and one's own customs should always be kept peacefully (IK 3174, 5788, 5165, 1303). Disputes that lead to public embarrassment are strictly forbidden (IK 5101). Peace and unity also come before disputes over matters such as the timing of a monument or a communal lottery that has been decided (IK 8311, 2821star).
Resolving them. Bring communal disputes to qualified rabbinic authorities (IK 10060) or to respected mediators, and resolve disagreements between administration and teachers through proper channels (IK 4275, 1557). Approach disputes thoughtfully, prioritizing practical solutions (IK 2280), and handle sensitive matters quietly and with diplomacy (IK 2244). Everyone involved shares responsibility for an institution's success or its problems (IK 4192). Discord often starts when people encroach on others' roles (IK 4213).
Keep the mission first. Don't let disputes distract from sacred work; respond with more effort and joy (IK 8903, 7054, 9700). Unity among activists, educators and young leaders is vital, and disputes only weaken the work (IK 8053, 8897, 10365, 8116).
See also: Leadership – Jewish unity and Ahavas Yisrael; Emotional well-being – Anger, resentment and hurt feelings; Teshuvah – Asking and granting forgiveness.