6736 —על שלום בית, גבולות נכונים, והשפעה רוחנית

B"H, Eve of Rosh Chodesh Adar Sheni, 5719. Brooklyn.

Shalom u'Vrachah!

In response to your letter from Erev Shabbat Kodesh requesting a blessing and pan for your sister—at an auspicious time the pan will be read at the holy resting place of my father-in-law, the Rebbe zatzukal l'havdil ben chayim mezichro tzadik v'kadosh livracha—may it be G‑d's will that just as you brought the request, so too you will share good news in this matter.

Surely you will forgive me for what follows, but I feel obligated to point out that sometimes, in various periods, lack of peace—especially between a man and his wife among the Jewish people—results from closeness that is not desirable according to our Torah of life. As it says: 'Tisarecha ra'asecha' (your own evil will discipline you), meaning the matter itself brings suffering by showing even to human eyes that its consequences are opposite from what was hoped for.

It is clear that it is difficult for me to elaborate on such a topic, especially regarding people I do not know personally. But as above, I found it necessary to emphasize this point—particularly since perhaps the matter requires correction due to lack of knowledge or because the correction relates not to a Torah prohibition but rather a rabbinic one. Of course, this is no justification since the words of our Sages are even more cherished than those of Torah itself.

Since in every matter one must take action within natural means—and as is known every person receives influence—it is proper to find someone who can have an effect in this regard. It is well known that in such cases there is special assistance from Heaven since this concerns mitzvot whose fruits are enjoyed in this world while their principal remains intact for the World to Come.

I see from your letter that you serve in..., and I hope you use this position to fulfill the inner mission of every Jew—as our Sages say: 'I was created to serve my Creator.' My intention is that you support all those with whom you come into contact by strengthening their G‑dly soul which exists within every Jew—even one who has sinned—as stated by our master the Alter Rebbe at the end of chapter 24 in Tanya: even at the time of sin it remained faithful with Him; see there.

And regarding such matters it is said: 'Haba l'taher mesayin oto' (one who comes to purify himself is assisted)—and it is known that it says l'taher (to purify) and not l'hitaher (to become pure). Blessings for good news in all these matters.

Summary

The Rebbe teaches that true marital harmony depends on maintaining proper boundaries as guided by Torah. He encourages seeking wise counsel when challenges arise and reminds us all to use our roles to uplift others spiritually and strengthen their connection with G‑d.