6736 —העדר שלום בית מחמת קירוב שאינו ע"פ התורה, וחיזוק הנפש האלקית שבזולת

B"H, the first day of Rosh Chodesh Adar II^[1], 5719
Brooklyn.

Shalom u'Vrachah!

In reply to your letter of Erev Shabbos, a request for a blessing, a pidyon nefesh, for your sister, may she live^[2]:

At an auspicious time the pidyon nefesh will be read at the holy resting place of my revered father-in-law, the Rebbe, of saintly memory, whose soul is in the hidden treasuries on High, may his merit protect us^[3]; and may it be G‑d's will that just as you brought the request, so may you bring good news about it.

You will surely forgive me for what follows, but I feel it my duty to remark that at times, and very often, the lack of peace, above all between a Jewish husband and wife, comes as a result of closeness that is not desirable according to our Torah, the Torah of life^[4], in the manner of what is said, "Your own evil shall chastise you"^[5]: the thing itself chastises, in that one sees even with eyes of flesh that the results are the opposite of what was hoped.

It is understood that it is difficult for me to elaborate on such a matter, especially concerning people I do not know; but, as said, I found it my duty to stress this, all the more so since it is possible that the matter needs correcting because of a lack of knowledge, or that the correction concerns a matter that is not of Torah law but rabbinic^[6] – though of course that is no justification, since "the words of the Sages are sweeter than the words of the Torah"^[7].

Since in everything one must take hold of the natural way^[8], and as is known, every person is open to influence, it would be right to find someone who can exert influence in this; and it is known that in such a matter there is special help from Heaven, since it is one of the mitzvos "whose fruits a person enjoys in this world, while the principal remains for the World to Come"^[9].

I see from your letter that you serve in…^[10]. I hope that you use this to fulfill the inner mission of every Jew, as our Sages said, "I was created to serve my Maker"^[11]; I mean that you support all those with whom you come into contact, to strengthen their G‑dly soul, which is present in each and every Jew "even though he has sinned," etc.^[12], and as the Alter Rebbe puts it in Tanya, end of chapter 24^[13], that even at the time of the sin it was faithful to Him, blessed be He – see there. And in such a matter they have promised: "One who comes to purify" (and the precision is known: "to purify," not "to become pure") "is helped"^[14].

With blessings for good news^[15] in all the above.

Notes

1. The first day of Rosh Chodesh Adar II (אדר"ח אד"ש): אדר"ח = א' דראש חודש; אד"ש = אדר שני: 30 Adar I, Tuesday, the first day of Rosh Chodesh Adar II.

2. Erev Shabbos… a pidyon nefesh… for your sister, may she live (מעש"ק... פ"נ עבור אחותו תחי'): מעש"ק = מערב שבת קודש, "of Erev Shabbos"; פ"נ = פדיון נפש, a note of request for blessing; תחי' = תחיה, "may she live".

3. My revered father-in-law, the Rebbe (כ"ק מו"ח אדמו"ר זצוקללה"ה נבג"מ זי"ע): כ"ק מו"ח אדמו"ר = "my revered father-in-law, the Rebbe", the Previous Rebbe; זצוקללה"ה נבג"מ זי"ע = "of saintly memory, whose soul is in the hidden treasuries on High, may his merit protect us".

4. Closeness that is not desirable according to our Torah (מקירוב שאינו רצוי ע"פ תורתנו): בנ"י = בני ישראל; ע"פ = על פי. The Rebbe speaks here by hint and in general terms, without spelling it out: strife between husband and wife sometimes results from closeness between them that is not as the Torah has set; and he adds below that this may stem from not knowing the laws, or concern a detail that is rabbinic.

5. "Your own evil shall chastise you" (תיסרך רעתך): Yirmeyahu 2:19: "Your own evil shall chastise you, and your backslidings shall reprove you; know and see that it is evil and bitter that you have forsaken the L‑rd your G‑d", and Rashi: "in the end your evil will bring suffering upon you". The thing itself carries its punishment: one sees with eyes of flesh that its results are the opposite of what was hoped.

6. Not a Torah law but a rabbinic one (לא מדאורייתא אלא מדרבנן): That is: perhaps what needs correcting comes only from not knowing the law, or concerns a detail that is not from the Torah but from the words of the Sages.

7. The words of the Sages are sweeter than the words of the Torah (ערבים דברי סופרים יותר מד"ת): ד"ת = דברי תורה. After Avodah Zarah 35a: "The Congregation of Israel said before the Holy One, blessed be He: Master of the world, the words of Your beloved ones are sweeter to me than the wine of the Torah", said there of a rabbinic decree. That a matter is rabbinic does not make it lighter, for the words of the Sages are even more dear.

8. Take hold of the natural way (לעשות אחיזה בדרך הטבע): That is: although the blessing is the main thing, one must also act through natural means; hence he suggests finding someone who has influence on the couple.

9. The mitzvos whose fruits a person enjoys in this world, while the principal remains for the World to Come (מהמצות שאדם אוכל פירותיהם בעוה"ז והקרן קיימת לעוה"ב): The Mishnah (Pe'ah 1:1), cited in Shabbos 127a: "These are the things whose fruits a person enjoys in this world while the principal remains for him in the World to Come: honoring father and mother, acts of kindness, bringing peace between a person and his fellow; and the study of Torah is equal to them all." The effort to bring peace between husband and wife is among these mitzvos.

10. You serve in… (משרת ב...): So in the print: the place where he serves is omitted.

11. "I was created to serve my Maker" (אני נבראתי לשמש את קוני): Kiddushin 82a: "R. Shimon ben Elazar says… they were created only to serve me, and I was created to serve my Maker." The Rebbe explains ("my intention is") that this service of one's Maker means supporting and strengthening everyone one comes into contact with.

12. Even though he has sinned (אע"פ שחטא): After Sanhedrin 44a: "R. Abba bar Zavda said: even though he has sinned, he is a Jew."

13. Tanya, end of chapter 24 (בספר התניא סוף פרק כ"ד): Tanya, end of chapter 24: "…the G‑dly soul clothed in them, which believes in the One G‑d, and even at the time of the sin was faithful to Him, blessed be He, only it was in a state of real exile within the animal soul".

14. "One who comes to purify is helped" (הבא לטהר... מסייעין אותו): Yoma 38b: "One who comes to defile, they open for him; one who comes to purify, they help him" (in Shabbos 104a: "to become pure"). "To purify" also means purifying others, not only "becoming pure" oneself; so one who strengthens the G‑dly soul of others is included in the promise of help from Above.

15. Good news (בשו"ט): בשו"ט = בשורות טובות.

Summary

Answering a request for a blessing for the writer's sister, the Rebbe gently points out that strife between husband and wife often follows closeness not in accord with the Torah, even in a rabbinic detail, and suggests finding someone who can influence the couple, since bringing peace is a mitzvah whose fruits are enjoyed in this world. He also asks the writer to use his post to strengthen the G‑dly soul of everyone he meets, for one who comes to purify others is helped from Above.