9266 —נחום אבלים על ידי מכתב, יסוד הלכתי והדרכה מעשית

Shalom u'Vrachah! [Thursday, 23 Tevet, 5727] Regarding comforting mourners (nichum aveilim) by letter: It is seemingly understood that the mitzvah of nichum aveilim is as its name implies—that the mourner is comforted thereby. Especially in light of what is written (Rambam, Hilchot Avel 14:7) that this is an act of kindness (gemilut chasadim), and acts of kindness can be done even by letter. Also, from the fact that it can be done through a messenger (Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 10:3), it is evident that it is not a mitzvah that must be performed personally. And what Rambam writes (ibid.) about acts of kindness with one's person—this only comes to distinguish it from charity (which is mentioned there in halacha 3). And carrying on the shoulder (i.e., physically carrying the deceased) proves this point.

This can be further supported by what follows there (14:6): this is an act of kindness with both the living and the dead. For the dead, there is no difference between speech and writing. See Shabbat 152a: "A dead person who has no one..."—from which it could be said that nichum aveilim is an act of kindness only for the dead (and perhaps this is a dispute between Raavad and Rambam—Hilchot Avel 13:4; this requires further study). Even though it must begin with an opening by the mourner—it stands to reason that there does not need to be a separate opening for each individual; once one person begins, all present may comfort. This fits with the plain meaning of the verse regarding opening: "And none spoke... for the pain was very great; afterward Iyov opened... then Elifaz answered" (Iyov; see Moed Katan at its end).

Moreover—and most importantly—if the letter is opened by the mourner (even if he knows its content is consolation), and he opens it to read—it does not get more open than this.

According to all of the above—when circumstances beyond his control prevent him from coming personally to comfort mourners, despite his desire and will to do so, two options are available: through a messenger (as above regarding writing), or by letter (and apparently there are several responsa which begin or end with a nichum aveilim formula). Each method has advantages—and best is to do both together.

Summary

The Rebbe teaches that comforting mourners through a letter fulfills the mitzvah according to halachah when personal presence isn't possible. Drawing on Rambam and other sources, he encourages using both a messenger and a letter when direct attendance cannot occur.