- 1 הוא מענה למו"ה יצחק דובאוו לשאלתו: כי מנהגינו לומר הרחמן הוא יברך את אדמו"ר שליט"א, ונתבאר שצריכים לו' אבי מורי וכו' וגם על עצמי וב"ב וכו' ואיך הוא הסדר.
- 2 האיש קודם לאשה להחיות ולהשב אבדה והאשה קודמת לאיש לכסות ולהוציא מבית השבי ת"ר היה הוא ואביו ורבו בשבי הוא קודם לרבו ורבו קודם לאביו [הוריות יג, א]
Erev Chag HaShavuot 5717.
Regarding what you wrote about the order in Birkat HaMazon [1]—see Mishnah and Gemara at the end of Horayot [2].
1 This is a response to Moreinu Harav Yitzchak Dubov regarding his question: since our custom is to say "HaRachaman, may He bless our Rebbe, shlita," and it was explained that one must also say "my father, my teacher," etc., and also for oneself and one's family, etc.—what is the correct order?
2 A man takes precedence over a woman for saving a life and returning a lost object; but a woman takes precedence over a man for providing clothing and redeeming from captivity. The Sages taught: If he, his father, and his teacher were all taken captive—he comes before his teacher, and his teacher comes before his father [Horayot 13a].
Summary
The Rebbe explains that the order of mentioning individuals in Birkat HaMazon follows halachic priorities found in Horayot: certain people take precedence depending on context. This guides how we structure our blessings for others.