נחמה והשקפה חסידית על אובדן בן זוג

B"H, Eve of Rosh Chodesh Elul, 5713.

Brooklyn.

Haraha"g vaharaha"ch iy"a nu"n oseik b'tzt"z ish rav pe'alim etc. etc. Yehoshua Shpetman

Shalom u'Vrachah!

I was shocked to read your letter in which you write about the tragedy that befell you with the passing of your wife of your youth, may she rest in peace. May it be the will of Hashem that from now on you will know no sorrow or anguish, G‑d forbid.

Perhaps you have already heard the story told by elder Chabad chassidim: When the Rebbetzin, wife of the tzt"z, passed away, he fell into a state of depression and repeatedly mentioned the saying from Zohar: Malka b'lo matronita lav hu malka (A king without a queen is not a king) (Zohar III 5a). His son, Admor Maharil, entered and said to him: 'Father, we have explicitly heard from you: Re'eh chayim im isha asher ahavta (See life with the woman whom you love) — this is Torah (Kiddushin 30b).' The tzt"z replied: 'My son, you have revived me.'

It is commonly asked among chassidim: This teaching from our sages is well-known and surely known to the tzt"z; what new insight did his son Admor Maharil provide? The explanation is that one must bring an idea down from the world of thought and contemplation into speech and action — where the body exists and where both its virtues and deficiencies are felt. Thus, filling this lack must also occur in this world itself; even speech alone is a small act but especially when it leads to action. And as our sages say: 'A prisoner cannot free himself,' so this drawing down must come through another person — especially one close to him — for then it is strong speech that brings down comfort all the way into action and greatly fills the void. This is what the son said to his father: since he himself was a halachic authority who ruled on such matters as stated in Gemara ('this is Torah'), Torah rules over nature and reality even retroactively (Yerushalmi Kesubos 1:2), so there is no longer any deficiency.

May it be G‑d's will that Your Honor finds at least partial fulfillment for your loss through increased strength in Torah study — especially in Chassidus — and increase efforts for Torah to expand and be glorified as Torah imbued with awe of Heaven.

The note you attached to your letter I read at the holy resting place of my father-in-law, Admor zatzal nbgm zya tzya.

With blessings for a good inscription for a good year.

Summary

The Rebbe teaches that true comfort after loss comes by transforming inspiration into tangible words and actions, particularly through increased Torah study and involvement in Chassidus. Support from others helps bring healing into reality.