10790 —בהירות בהחלטות אירוסין ובטחון בהשגחה אלוקית

End of Iyar, 5733.

Shalom u'Vrachah!

The meaning of the information you wrote that you received (that he became engaged) – in my opinion is clear: 1) Since there was still some doubt in her mind – whether his relationship with her was deep enough, to the extent that he would want to adapt to her character, to give up even on matters most important to him, to show that he is not completely bound by his own views, etc. – this information nullifies any such doubt completely. 2) Since according to the custom in a very limited circle (especially), even when breaking off a good and necessary match – still, when possible, they try to wait until the other side becomes engaged – this too was given to her from Heaven.

According to our Torah of Truth – a person, even the greatest among people, is close to himself – and as a necessary result of this, when he sees that no one urges him a second or third time after he said no – he becomes disappointed or even embittered, etc., sometimes so much so that he does not want to recognize reality: 1) This is proof that even the first request was not with all your heart. 2) That something which is not suitable (and more than that) – the information that it was nullified etc., this is simply for the revealed and apparent good. And it is necessary to thank Hashem for this.

I will mention at the Tziyun, may it be fulfilled for you, that you should receive the Torah with joy and inwardness (in the customary wording), and that you should become engaged soon with your destined one and with peace of mind and joy.

Summary

This letter teaches us to seek clarity in important life decisions like engagement, trust in Divine providence even when outcomes differ from our hopes, and always express gratitude for G‑d's revealed goodness.