1332 —מקור לקריאת שמות לילדים ותפקידי ההורים בבחירת שמות

B"H, 3rd of Teves, 5712.

Brooklyn.

Haraha"g vavac"h iy"a nu"n etc. Shmuel Yalov

Shalom u'Vrachah!

In response to your letter from the 14th of Kislev, in which you ask about the source regarding giving names to sons and daughters—whether this belongs to the father or the mother. You wish to draw support from what is written in Scripture: sometimes the naming of a son was done by the father (as in "And Avraham called the name of his son..."), and sometimes by the mother (as with the tribes where it says "and she called his name...").

Answer: a) In my opinion, one cannot derive a rule from these examples, since, for instance, all the names of the tribes (except Binyamin) were given by their mother. There is absolutely no logic to say that naming all sons belongs solely to the mother and not at all to the father—especially since we find in Scripture several times that naming was done by the father, sometimes by both parents (either with one name—like Yishmael—or with different names—like Binyamin), and sometimes even by others (Zerach, Peretz, Oved). See also Shmuel II 12:24–25. Perhaps one can say that Rachel and Leah named the tribes based on our Sages’ teaching (Bereishis Rabbah sec. 82) that the Matriarchs were prophetesses and their husbands secondary to them in prophecy—as it says: "Whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her voice" (Bereishis Rabbah ch. 1; see also Likkutei Torah on Shir HaShirim, discourse Kol Dodi ch. 4). As for Yitzchak and Esav’s names—it is possible they were also given by Sarah (Bereishis 21:6), Rivkah (Rashi ibid. 25:26; based on Midrash Rabbah there and Tanchuma Shemos sec. 4).

b) Regarding the essence of this matter—giving a name is a significant act with great responsibility. As explained in many places in Chassidus, a name is a channel through which vitality and influence flow to what is called by that name (see at length Shnei Luchot HaBrit introduction Beit Acharon; Tanya Shaar HaYichud VehaEmunah ch. 1; Likkutei Torah Behar discourse Es Shabtotai ch. 2; among others). Therefore it is written in the writings of the Arizal: When a person is born and his father and mother call him a name...the Holy One places into their mouth that very name necessary for that soul (Sefer HaGilgulim introduction 23; Emek HaMelech Shaar I sec. 4; Ohr HaChaim Devarim 29:17).

c) To whom does giving names belong? I have not heard an explicit directive about this, but see commentaries of early authorities (Hadra Zekenim, Daas Zekenim etc.) on Bereishis (38:5), on "and she was at Cheziv when she bore him," who write that their custom was: first child's name belongs to the father; second child's name to the mother; third child's name again to the father—and this explains "and she called his name...because he [Yehudah] was at Cheziv when she bore him." Therefore, in my opinion, where there is no fixed custom—the order above should be followed for giving names. Although Ramban rejects this explanation as being not intended by Scripture as an instruction for custom—in principle there is no proof he disagrees with those earlier authorities. See also Ikrei HaDat (Yoreh Deah) sec. 27 subsec. 7 who brings a custom to call one's firstborn son after his own father.

I am enclosing herewith the booklet for Yud-Tes Kislev along with my general letter relevant to it; Torah must be taught at its proper time.

With blessing.

Summary

The Rebbe explains that both parents may participate in naming children according to various sources and customs. The act carries spiritual significance as it channels Divine vitality to the child; where no fixed custom exists, alternating between parents is suggested.