1. The Dangers of Criticism and Finding Fault
People often have a tendency to be critical of others, especially when it comes to their good deeds or religious observance. Instead of appreciating the positive actions someone does, there’s a temptation to question their motives, suggesting they act out of ulterior motives or for show. This attitude is not only unfair but also discourages goodness. The Rebbe teaches that we should always give people credit for the good they do and avoid looking for reasons to disqualify or diminish their actions. This lesson was also a guiding principle from my father, who would advise not to get involved in disagreements and always acknowledge the good in others. The Rebbe expands on this by exploring why people are naturally inclined to put others down—sometimes out of jealousy or discomfort with another’s accomplishments. It’s important to recognize this tendency and actively work against it.2. Acts of Kindness Versus Cruelty
It can be difficult to discern whether an action is truly kind or actually cruel in disguise. Sometimes, what appears as cruelty is in fact the greatest kindness—like a doctor performing surgery that looks harsh but ultimately heals. Conversely, what seems like kindness can be deeply harmful, such as giving a child something dangerous under the guise of generosity. This complexity is reflected in our parsha, where actions that seem questionable by today’s standards must be understood within their context. The Torah’s approach is nuanced; sometimes discipline and boundaries are acts of love, while permissiveness can be destructive.3. Background: The Story Leading Up to Pinchas
The Jewish people, after forty years in the desert, were poised to enter Eretz Yisrael but faced resistance from neighboring nations who refused them passage across the Jordan River. Despite assurances that they would not harm local commerce or property, these nations denied entry, leading to battles with Sihon and Og—powerful kings who were defeated by Bnei Yisrael. Balak, king of Moav, observed these supernatural victories and sought spiritual means to undermine the Jews by hiring Bilaam, a non-Jewish prophet known for his power to curse. However, Bilaam’s attempts failed; instead of curses he uttered blessings—some of which are recited daily in our prayers. Frustrated, Bilaam advised Balak that Hashem despises promiscuity and suggested enticing Jewish men with Midianite and Moabite women. This led not only to forbidden relationships but also idol worship—women would demand that men embrace avodah zara—idol worship—as a condition for intimacy.4. The Sin of Zimri and Pinchas’ Response
A plague broke out among Bnei Yisrael as punishment for these sins. Members of Shevet Shimon approached their leader Zimri ben Salu, complaining about being singled out for punishment while he remained passive. In response, Zimri publicly took Cosbi bat Tzur—a Midianite princess—and brazenly challenged Moshe Rabbeinu about whether such a relationship was permitted, even comparing it to Moshe’s own marriage to Tzipporah (who had converted). Zimri’s act was framed as kindness toward his tribe—defending them from blame—but it was actually perpetuating sin and prolonging Hashem’s anger. At this moment Pinchas intervened decisively: he killed both Zimri and Cosbi with a spear. This act stopped the plague but raised questions about its legitimacy and Pinchas’ motives.5. The Unique Status of Pinchas
Pinchas’ action was based on a unique halacha: kana’im pogin bo—zealots may act without explicit instruction in certain extreme cases—but it is not a general rule nor applicable today. Afterward, Hashem rewarded Pinchas with a covenant of peace and elevated him to the status of Kohen—a priestly role he did not previously hold despite being Aaron’s grandson. Rashi explains that some among Bnei Yisrael criticized Pinchas’ lineage and motives: they accused him of cruelty inherited from his maternal grandfather Yitro (who had prepared calves for idol worship), suggesting his zeal was rooted in negative traits rather than righteousness. Hashem responded by affirming Pinchas’ paternal lineage from Aaron HaKohen—renowned for his pursuit of peace and reconciliation—and declared that Pinchas acted out of genuine kindness for Klal Yisrael rather than cruelty.6. Lessons on True Leadership and Kindness
The story illustrates how acts can be misinterpreted: Zimri appeared kind by defending his tribe but actually harmed them by enabling sin; Pinchas seemed cruel but saved countless lives through his courageous intervention. True kindness sometimes requires strength and discipline rather than permissiveness or appeasement. Like a parent who sets necessary boundaries for their child’s benefit—even if it feels harsh at the moment—it is ultimately an act of love. Similarly, leadership demands honesty about what will truly help others grow rather than simply making them feel comfortable or justified in harmful behavior.7. Avoiding Jealousy and Judging Others’ Motives
People often criticize others’ good deeds out of jealousy or laziness—it is easier to find fault than to strive for similar accomplishments oneself. Sometimes we project our own shortcomings onto others by questioning their sincerity instead of working on our own growth. The Rebbe teaches that even if someone performs mitzvos with ulterior motives (such as giving tzedakah hoping for personal blessing), their actions are still valuable—and criticizing them is itself wrong. In fact, Chazal say one should always engage in Torah study and mitzvos even shelo lishmah—not purely for its own sake—because eventually this leads to pure intentions. When we see someone excelling spiritually, we should use any feelings of jealousy as motivation (kinas sofrim tarbe chokhmah—the jealousy among scholars increases wisdom) rather than as an excuse for criticism or complacency. In material matters we should look at those with less than us and feel gratitude; in spiritual matters we should aspire higher by learning from those who do more mitzvos or study more Torah.8. Only Hashem Knows What Is in Our Hearts
Ultimately, we cannot know another person’s true intentions or struggles—only Hashem can judge what lies within someone’s heart. We must give others the benefit of the doubt (dan l’kaf zechus—judge favorably), appreciate their efforts, respect their journey, and refrain from condescension or criticism. If we internalize this lesson from Parshas Pinchas—that only Hashem knows what motivates each person—we will live happier lives ourselves while fostering unity among Klal Yisrael through love rather than judgment.9. Clarifying Kohen Status: A Halachic Note
A question arose regarding why Pinchas was not already a Kohen if his father Elazar had become Kohen Gadol after Aaron passed away. The answer is rooted in halacha: when Aaron was first anointed as Kohen along with his sons (Nadav, Avihu, Elazar, Itamar), only those present at the time became Kohanim automatically—including future sons born afterward—but not grandchildren like Pinchas who were already born before the anointing ceremony. Thus Pinchas remained a Levi until Hashem granted him priesthood following his courageous deed. Additionally, clarification was given about what it means to be a Kohen: Kohanim are priests who serve in the Beis HaMikdash (Temple); Levi’im sing there; all other Jews are called Yisraelim.10. Final Reflections on Judgment and Kindness
The discussion concluded with reflections on Aaron HaKohen’s role during the episode of the Golden Calf—how even great leaders can make mistakes yet still have noble intentions—and how only Hashem truly knows each person’s heart. We must strive always to see the best in others—to look beyond surface actions toward inner potential—and support one another with love rather than criticism or judgment. This approach embodies both the legacy of Aaron HaKohen and the enduring lesson from Parshas Pinchas: cherish every Jew for who they are and focus on building up rather than tearing down our fellow human beings.