1. The Importance of Forgiveness in Jewish Thought
Today’s portion is Chukas—the statute. As we explore this parsha, we focus on the theme of forgiveness, a lesson that is both timely and timeless. Often, people insult us or cause us pain, leading to feelings of animosity. The Torah teaches us to learn how to forgive, and today we will examine what is unique about this parsha, Rashi’s insights, and the broader lesson for our lives.
The Alter Rebbe writes in Tanya, in Igeres HaKoidesh chapter 25, that a person should never truly get angry. The Talmud even states that one who gets angry is as if they worship idols. The Alter Rebbe explains this comparison: anger is not just a bad character trait; it reflects a denial of Hashem’s control over the world. If something happens to you—even if another person hurts you—it only occurs because Hashem wills it. No one can harm you unless Hashem allows it.
This idea is illustrated by the story of King David and Shimei ben Gera. When Shimei cursed David, David’s men wanted to punish him, but David said, “Ki Hashem amar lo kalel—it is God who told him to curse.” While we don’t find an explicit command from Hashem for Shimei to curse David, the fact that it happened means Hashem allowed it. However, this does not absolve the wrongdoer from responsibility—everyone has free choice and must answer for their actions.
If you are hurt by someone else, you should not become angry or lose your composure. To do so implies that Hashem is not in control. Believing that everything comes from Hashem means recognizing that whatever happens was meant to be.
2. The Obligation to Seek and Grant Forgiveness
When someone hurts you—whether emotionally, financially, or physically—the Torah obligates them to seek your forgiveness. On Yom Kippur, we say that the day atones for sins between man and God but not for sins between people. For those transgressions, one must ask forgiveness from their fellow before Hashem will forgive them.
There are two powerful stories in the Torah about forgiveness. The first involves Avraham and Avimelech: when Avimelech took Sarah into his house under mistaken pretenses, Avraham prayed for him after Sarah was returned, and God healed Avimelech’s household. Despite the seriousness of Avimelech’s offense, Avraham forgave him enough to pray on his behalf.
The second story appears in our parsha: after repeated complaints against Moshe and Hashem, the Jewish people are punished with fiery serpents. When they realize their error, they come to Moshe and apologize: “We have sinned because we have spoken against God and against you.” Moshe prays for them despite all he has endured as their leader.
3. Rashi’s Insight: Levels of Forgiveness
Rashi comments on this episode that when someone asks forgiveness, one should not be cruel but should forgive them—a principle codified in halacha before Yom Kippur as well. Even though Moshe had every reason to hold a grudge after years of complaints and challenges from Bnei Yisrael (as illustrated by the famous anecdote about Ben-Gurion describing Israelis as “2 million Prime Ministers”), he forgave them wholeheartedly when they apologized.
The Rebbe analyzes why Rashi emphasizes this lesson here rather than with Avraham and Avimelech. Both stories involve serious offenses followed by prayer on behalf of the offender—so what distinguishes them?
4. Three Steps in Forgiving Others
The Rebbe explains there are three steps in forgiving another person:
- Step One: Forgive so the other person will not be punished by Hashem for what they did to you. This may be a superficial forgiveness—you say “I forgive you,” but still harbor resentment inside.
- Step Two: Forgive so completely that you no longer feel anger or animosity in your heart toward the other person.
- Step Three: Restore the relationship fully so it is as if nothing ever happened—a complete return to how things were before any hurt occurred.
The story with Avraham and Avimelech seems only to reach step one: Avraham prays so Avimelech will not be punished but may still feel hurt inside. In contrast, Moshe Rabbeinu goes further: he prays for Bnei Yisrael and works with them toward genuine change (teshuvah—repentance), aiming for true reconciliation and improvement.
5. True Forgiveness: Healing Both Sides
Moshe Rabbeinu did not simply remove punishment from Bnei Yisrael but sought their transformation through teshuvah. He wanted them not only forgiven but changed for the better—a higher level than merely avoiding punishment.
This process reflects a deeper understanding of forgiveness: sometimes forgiving helps the offender avoid punishment or improve themselves through repentance. But as the Rebbe quotes from Rambam (Maimonides), true benefit lies with the forgiver themselves. To truly forgive elevates one spiritually—a sign of inner strength and refinement.
The Rebbetzin would say that holding a grudge harms oneself more than anyone else. There is even a prayer before bedtime where we declare our forgiveness toward anyone who wronged us during the day—a practice meant to cleanse our hearts before sleep.
6. The Character Trait of Compassionate Forgiveness
The ability to forgive is central to Jewish character traits (middos). Communities have been torn apart because people could not let go of grudges even after apologies were offered. In Tanach we find that King David refused to accept the Givonim into Klal Yisrael because they lacked compassion and could not forgive—a trait essential among Jews (rachmonim bnei rachmonim—compassionate children of compassionate ones).
The Rambam teaches that forgiving others isn’t just about helping them avoid punishment or change their ways—it refines us as individuals when we rise above ego and let go of resentment.
7. Anticipating Redemption Through Forgiveness
The Rebbe also notes an interesting point regarding Rambam’s inclusion of prayers for Mashiach within his legal writings: even while discussing unrelated topics, Rambam inserts prayers like “Shetibaneh Beis Hamikdash bimherah veyameinu”—“May the Beis Hamikdash be rebuilt speedily in our days.” This reflects a halachic requirement always to yearn for redemption whenever Mashiach is mentioned.
If God commands us to forgive others at all levels, then surely He Himself forgives us fully as well—paving the way for all blessings beginning with redemption itself (Mashiach Tzidkeinu bimherah veyameinu Amen). As we stand between Gimel Tammuz and Yud Beis Tammuz, may we merit true redemption through embracing forgiveness in our own lives.