1. The Challenge of Dealing with Difficult Situations
This class is dedicated to the memory of Yosef Chaim ben Ephraim, whose yortzeit is tonight. In connection with Parshas Sukkos, specifically the Shlishi reading, there is an important lesson that also relates to the character of Yosef Chaim ben Ephraim, as shared by Dr. Schafel about his father. Sometimes in life, we encounter situations or people that are stubborn and resistant—like a rock. When trying to educate children or influence others who resist, we often feel stonewalled. The question arises: how do we respond? Do we try to force our way through, or do we attempt to reason and use words?
2. The Story of Moshe Rabbeinu and the Rock
This week’s Parshah presents a fascinating story. After the generation of the miraglim—the spies—has passed away and the Jewish people are preparing to enter Eretz Yisrael, Miriam dies and suddenly there is no water. The Torah shows us that there was no plan revealed for obtaining water; Hashem wanted the people to rely on faith alone. In a desert with no water, it would be natural to ask where water will come from, but instead of asking nicely, the people complain and direct their frustration at Moshe Rabbeinu.
Moshe Rabbeinu finds himself facing all these complaints: “Why did you take us out?” He reminds them he was only following Hashem’s command and has proven himself repeatedly through miracles and leadership. Despite this history, they continue to challenge him.
3. Hashem’s Instruction: Speak, Don’t Strike
Hashem tells Moshe Rabbeinu to take his stick—something he has been told before in previous miracles—but this time Hashem instructs him specifically to speak to the rock rather than strike it. Yet when Moshe speaks to the rock, nothing happens; there is no water. Feeling uncertain, perhaps recalling that nearly forty years earlier he was told to hit the rock at Mei Merivah, Moshe decides to strike it twice with his stick. Water then flows abundantly.
This raises a question: If Hashem wanted Moshe only to speak to the rock, why did He bring forth water even after Moshe struck it? Nevertheless, Hashem expresses disappointment with Moshe for not following His precise instruction.
4. The Deeper Lesson: Leadership Through Words
Hashem tells Moshe that he missed an opportunity for kiddush Hashem—sanctifying His name—before all of Israel. Had Moshe spoken successfully to the rock, it would have demonstrated that even something as unyielding as a stone can respond simply through words—teaching Bnei Yisrael that serving Hashem does not require force or harshness but can be achieved through gentle speech.
This message is especially crucial when dealing with rebellious or difficult people. The tendency might be to respond harshly or punitively when faced with opposition, but true leadership requires patience and communication rather than force.
5. Contrasting Approaches in Jewish Leadership
This philosophy stands in contrast with some leaders who would berate non-religious Jews by calling them derogatory names or excluding them from Klal Yisrael because of their actions. Such harsh words rarely inspire change; instead, they often push people further away from Torah observance.
The more effective approach is one of education and understanding—speaking kindly and explaining rather than condemning or attacking. People who do not know cannot be expected to understand unless they are taught patiently.
6. Was Moshe’s Punishment Fair?
The Torah’s account seems almost unfair: after all that Moshe endured on behalf of Bnei Yisrael—bearing their complaints and trying his best—Hashem decrees that he will not enter Eretz Yisrael because of this incident at the rock. It appears harsh considering all the mitigating factors: his good intentions and past instructions involving striking with a stick.
However, at the end of the Parshah, the Torah clarifies this point by stating “Heyma Mei Merivah”—these are the waters of strife—which Rashi explains connects back even further in history.
7. Divine Plan and Predestination
The stargazers in Pharaoh’s court foresaw that Moshe would be punished through water; they mistakenly thought this meant drowning but it actually referred to this very incident at Mei Merivah where he struck instead of spoke. This teaches us that everything was predestined—Moshe’s fate was part of Hashem’s plan from the beginning.
This was not a sudden change or punishment but an orchestrated lesson for all generations about leadership and faithfulness to Hashem’s word.
8. Applying the Lesson: Kindness in Influence
The ultimate message is clear: whether leading a nation or interacting with individuals who seem resistant or difficult, one must choose words over force—Divrei chachamim benachas nishma’im—the words of wise men are heard when spoken gently.
This quality was exemplified by Yosef Chaim ben Ephraim—bringing people together through humor, sensitivity, and kind words rather than confrontation or criticism.
May Hashem help us recognize His plan even when we do not understand it fully, and may we merit soon the coming of Moshiach together with all tzaddikim in physical form speedily in our days—bimheira v’yameinu. Amen.