1036 —בנוגע לשידוכים, בקשת הדרכה, והצורך בחסידות

B"H, 1st of Sivan, 5711. Brooklyn.

Shalom u'Vrachah!

I received your letter from the 2nd of Bamidbar, in which you write that you are being offered an honorable match, but the matter is still uncertain. It is possible that she and her father will come to me to ask my opinion: you do not mention the name of the young woman in your letter, nor is it clear from your letter whether you are seeking advice or simply wish me to know your perspective before she and her father come to me.

Regarding the matter itself: in such cases ^[1] it is common for many people to try to find acquaintances or relatives who can influence the other side as they wish. Apparently from your letter, you also could not clarify why a decision has not yet been reached regarding this proposal. Certainly, when you have good news about this you will inform me.

I am interested to know if you have a set time for Torah study in general and for Chassidus in particular. If in previous years there was a need for studying Chassidus, then nowadays it is absolutely essential for many reasons. In our case it is also unnecessary to elaborate since—as you mention in your letter—your grandfather traveled to the Rebbe. In the words of my revered father-in-law, the Rebbe zatzal: if one turns to me with a question related to shidduchim—which is among the most difficult matters like Kri'as Yam Suf—and our Sages say that "the Holy One Blessed be He sits and matches couples," and I am neither an expert matchmaker nor even an inexperienced one; nevertheless, if you wish to hear my opinion, all the more so should you also listen regarding establishing a fixed time for learning Chassidus.

May Hashem grant you success on your path in life; by connecting yourself as well with the inner dimension of Torah—which is its illuminating light—this will shine upon your ways so that you will find the correct path and decision fitting for you both materially and spiritually.

Enclosed is the sichah from Lag BaOmer recently published together with a general letter related to it; both also discuss learning the inner dimension of Torah.

With blessings for receiving the Torah with joy and inwardness.

Summary

The Rebbe teaches that clarity and guidance are crucial when approaching shidduchim. He stresses that regular study of Chassidus is essential today—not just as an enhancement but as a necessity—helping illuminate one's path both materially and spiritually.