934 —המשמעות העמוקה של לבישת פיאה נכרית והשפעת ההורים

B"H, 29 Adar, 5711.

Brooklyn.

Shalom u'Vrachah!

I have learned that the meeting between your daughter... may she live, and her intended, may he live, has already taken place. I hereby bless them with mazal tov, that their engagement should be at an auspicious and successful time, and that he and his wife, may they live, should derive much nachas and pleasure from them and from their other children—Jewish and chassidic nachas.

However, on the other hand, I have been told there is concern that your daughter’s resolve to wear a sheitel has weakened. I do not know what effect this weakening of her decision has had, but surely you are trying in an appropriate and calm manner to see that she fulfills her promise in this matter. As I said when they were here: this is not just a question of wearing a sheitel but reflects an entire approach to life. I am writing to her separately about this as well.

Even though it is surely unnecessary, I will repeat once again that through matters of closeness and words spoken gently one can accomplish very much. Your son also told me that your daughter spoke with them about various details regarding the wedding and its style. I do not know how strongly she feels about this issue; however, in general, when one makes concessions in secondary matters it becomes easier to make concessions in essential matters as well. For you, there is no need for lengthy discussion on this point.

To conclude with something related to the day: enclosed is an excerpt from last Shabbat’s farbrengen, even though it was recorded only briefly.

With blessings for proper health—especially for the seventh of Adar—and mazal tov blessings to both of them.

Summary

The Rebbe teaches that choices like wearing a sheitel reflect deeper values and approaches to life. He encourages parents to use gentle influence rather than pressure and warns that making concessions on minor issues can lead to further compromises on core principles.