The Balanced Path: Career, Study, and Parenting

Introduction and Salutation

This letter, found in Volume 17 of Igros Kodesh, is addressed to a woman, yet it begins with the greeting "Sholom U’vracha" (Peace and Blessing). This is a noteworthy stylistic choice, as the Rebbe typically used different salutations when addressing women directly. This may suggest that while she was the correspondent, the Rebbe viewed the response as being directed toward the entire family unit, or perhaps she wrote the initial inquiry on behalf of her husband.

The Rebbe’s approach throughout this letter highlights a fundamental principle: his guidance is profoundly practical and grounded. While the Rebbe certainly possessed spiritual foresight, he chose to frame his advice within the context of logic, Torah law, and life experience. He does not ask the person to rely on miracles; rather, he explains the situation so that the recipient can understand the inherent "common sense" within the Torah's perspective.

I. Career Stability vs. Agricultural Development

The correspondent’s husband was balancing a position at the electric company with the development of a private farm (meshek). Due to the physical and mental strain of managing both, the family considered having him resign from the electric company to focus solely on the farm.

The Rebbe advises against this change for several reasons:

• Stability: Now is not the opportune time for such a drastic career shift.

• Benefits: A position at a large company provides essential "perks" such as a pension and financial security that a private enterprise may lack.

• Alternative Solutions: Rather than quitting the stable job, the Rebbe suggests easing the burden on the farm. This can be achieved either by hiring a helper or by extending the timeline for the farm's development, allowing it to grow gradually without causing immediate burnout.

II. The Necessity of Torah Study

Responding to the husband’s lack of time for study, the Rebbe emphasizes that Torah study is an absolute necessity for every Jew. He connects this directly to the family's need for success:

• Earning the Blessing: Just as they are seeking a "special blessing" from Hashem for their livelihood, they must connect to the "Giver of the Torah." To receive an additional measure of Divine blessing, one must increase their commitment to Torah.

• Finding a Partner: The woman noted a lack of suitable study partners (chavrusas) in their area. The Rebbe counters that with a proper search, one or two people can surely be found.

• Consistency: Even if a partner is only available once or twice a week, those sessions should serve as a foundation for independent study during the remaining days. Torah must be studied every day, with a significant increase on Shabbos Kodesh.

III. Guidance for the Eldest Son

The letter addresses a son who had become disillusioned and lacked interest in his future, claiming that his past lack of success in studies proved he was unfit for a productive path.

The Rebbe instructs the mother to explain to her son that such thoughts are actually prohibited. He offers a profound psychological and spiritual refutation of the son's "failure" narrative:

• The Danger of Low Morale: Believing one is "unsuccessful" drains energy and destroys the drive needed to settle into a stable life.

• Contextual Success: Failure in one specific area (like academic studies) is never evidence of a general lack of ability. A person may struggle in one field but excel far beyond the average in another.

• External Factors: Lack of success is often due to "side reasons" or external circumstances rather than a lack of inherent potential.

• The Requirement of Action: The Rebbe quotes the verse, "And Hashem your God will bless you in all that you do." Divine blessing is a partnership; Hashem provides the power, but the individual must provide the "vessel" through active effort.

Recommendation: The Rebbe suggests the son enter a religious kibbutz as soon as possible. While the son may fear the strict discipline of such an environment, the Rebbe assures them that this discomfort will only last a few days. Very quickly, the positive aspects of the lifestyle will outweigh and obscure the initial difficulties.

IV. Spiritual Reminders and Conclusion

To draw down further blessings for the household, the Rebbe adds two specific instructions:

1. For the Husband: To give Tzedakah (charity) every weekday morning before the morning prayers.

2. For the Wife: To maintain the beautiful custom of Jewish women to give Tzedakah before lighting candles on Erev Shabbos and Erev Yom Tov.

The letter concludes with a blessing for good news and a Kosher and Happy Pesach, signed by the Rebbe’s secretary.