1774 —צביעת שיער לאיש רווק עם שיער לבן המבקש שידוך

B"H, 13 Menachem Av, 5712.

Brooklyn.

Harav Hagaon VeHaraha"ch Iy"a Nu"n Moreinu Dovber Eliezerov

Shalom u'Vrachah!

I was pleased to receive your letter from the 4th of Tammuz and afterwards the package of booklets. Many thanks for sending them, and surely as your honor will also send the remaining booklets as well as letters from my revered teacher the Rebbe (the Rashab) that contain content—not just private matters such as responses to personal advice and similar topics.

Regarding the booklets you sent, as you wrote, one booklet is Sefer HaMitzvos by tzt"z among the individual maamarim; a large portion are maamarim already printed in Toras Chaim. In the second booklet, part is from drushim printed in Likkutei Torah. This is what I saw before proper review, and when time permits it may be possible to clarify about the other maamarim as well.

Regarding your question that was before you: about someone whose hair has turned white and he is single, which makes it difficult for him to find a match, and he greatly desires permission to dye his hair: The issue of "a man shall not wear... nor shall there be a man's article..." has several types: women's clothing or men's articles—which is according to Torah law (such as weapons that women are forbidden to take up in war according to Torah [since weapons are disgraceful for her (Shabbat 63a), and thus Rabbi Eliezer ben Yaakov's opinion (Nazir 59a) is straightforward, and Tosafot Yom Tov explains the verse refers to weapons. On this there is no dispute], since all the glory of a princess is inward), or matters dependent on modesty and similar things. Second: things that are women's clothing due to nature—such as matters related to beauty, for "a woman exists only for beauty." Third: things dependent on custom. It is clear that those of the last type can change—if custom changes, so do the laws of "a man shall not wear..." Likewise it is clear that something forbidden by Torah remains forbidden even if custom changes (as with weapons in Tamid at the end). Regarding the middle category, there is room for both sides; but it seems more likely that since this isn't from Torah law, it depends on local custom in each country. Therefore regarding our case—since many women now dye their hair from black to white due to fashion, and also since it has become common that even men who are already engaged want to appear younger and thus dye their hair—and since this falls into the middle category—it stands to reason that the boundary has been breached. Even if it was breached by transgressors and mainly non-Jews, nevertheless it has become men's attire. Only beautification specifically for women remains prohibited (Shabbat 50b).

It goes without saying that all of the above is only theoretical halachically—not practical ruling. Therefore I have kept this brief without bringing proofs from Talmud or early authorities since it's not so relevant practically; time does not permit elaboration.

As for practical ruling—many later authorities have discussed this; see Shu"t Shoel U'Meishiv Mahadura Kama I:210 and sources cited there; Sefer Meorei Or (Kitzur Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah siman 182); Shu"t Mahari Ashkenazi (Av Beit Din Zaltshov) Yoreh Deah siman 19; Shu"t Divrei Chaim Yoreh Deah siman 62; Shu"t Maharam Schick Yoreh Deah siman 173; Shu"t Minchat Eliezer IV:23; Sdei Chemed Klalim L klal 116 where content from several of these works is brought.

Blessings for good health. May it be G‑d's will that your son's marriage—and on the day both sides set—be at an auspicious and successful time.

Summary

The Rebbe writes that dyeing hair for matchmaking purposes depends on local custom rather than strict Torah prohibition. For practical guidance one should consult contemporary halachic authorities who discuss this issue in detail.