010 —אני לדודי

Ani LeDodi VeDodi Li.

The meaning is that in Elul, it begins with the aspect of "Ani LeDodi"—that is, an awakening from below. This continues until Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, which are the drawing down of His G‑dliness below in a revealed way.

As it is written: "Semo'lo Tachas LeRoshi VeYemino Techabkeini" ("His left hand is under my head, and His right hand embraces me")—from Rosh Hashanah until Yom Kippur is the aspect of 'His left,' the aspect of awe. For then is the time of the revelation of His Kingship. Therefore, He is called "the King," for "Malchuscha Malchus Kol Olamim" ("Your kingship is the kingship of all worlds")—meaning, that even in the hidden worlds, the awe and fear of the King falls upon them. (See Zohar Pinchas 214b, and Ramaz there.)

And from this, it is drawn down below to all the souls of Israel, to accept upon themselves the yoke of the Kingdom of Heaven, and that His awe should be upon their faces all year. For the awe and love of Hashem is not made and planted in a person's heart by his own power, but rather from the illumination that is drawn upon him from above at the time of its revelation, that is, on Rosh Hashanah, the aspect of awe, etc. (See also Parshas Tavo, s.v. Vayikra Moshe; and on Ki Seitzei; and on Lo Tihyeh Meshakeilah VeAkarah, in Parshas Mishpatim.)

And this is the aspect of "VeDodi Li." But first, one must arouse love and awe through an awakening from below, which is in Elul.

It is known that in Elul is the time of the revelation of the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy. To understand this: Why are these weekdays and not Yom Tov like Shabbos and festivals, in which there is a revelation of G‑dliness, the illumination of His G‑dliness? Especially at the time of the Thirteen Attributes, which are very lofty illuminations, and they are revealed on Yom Kippur. Certainly, there is a great difference between Yom Kippur and Elul.

But this can be understood by the parable of a king who, before entering the city, the people of the city go out to greet him and receive him in the field. Then, anyone who wishes may go out to greet him, and he receives them all with a pleasant countenance and shows a smiling face to everyone. When he goes into the city, they follow him. Afterwards, when he enters his palace, only those with permission may enter, and even then, only the select individuals.

So too, by way of example, in the month of Elul, we go out to greet the light of His countenance in the field. For it is written: "Ya'er Hashem Panav Eilecha" ("May Hashem shine His face upon you"), which is the illumination of the Thirteen Attributes, that it should be face to face. That is, that the inner aspect of His will should shine to the source of the souls of Israel, through their own inner will to cleave to Him with heart and soul, from the depth of the heart with self-sacrifice, as explained elsewhere.

This illumination is drawn from the aspect of "El," which is the beginning of all the Thirteen Attributes, their source and their entirety. As it is written: "El Hashem Vaya'er Lanu" ("G‑d, Hashem, and He shined upon us"), which is the light of the Infinite One Himself. As it is written: "Ki Hashem Elokecha Eish Ochlah Hu" ("For Hashem your G‑d is a consuming fire"). The meaning is, just as the radiance and light of fire that comes from the fire itself, in its entirety there is no distinction between it and the radiance and light that extends from it.

So too, so to speak, the illumination of the countenance that shines to all Israel is from the aspect of "El," which is the light of the Infinite One Himself.

(See also the explanation on "V'chol Ha'am Ro'im Es HaKolos" regarding "Min HaMeitzar Karasi"; and on "Atem Nitzavim" on Motzaei Shabbos; and therefore He is called "El Elyon" etc.; and on "LeHavin Pirusho V'inyan Yud-Gimel Middos"; and on "VeErashtich Li" regarding "Libi U'Vesari Yeranenu El El Chai.")

Therefore, it is called "Yisrael," from the phrase "Sar El" ("G‑d rules"). The yud indicates ongoing action, as in "Kacha Ya'aseh etc." The meaning is that the aspect of "El" rules and governs within him.

(See Zohar Kedoshim 86a; Bereishis 8a; Vayigash 4, Rosh Hashanah 2b; Naso 132a; and in the commentary of the Ramaz at the beginning of Parshas Shemini.)

That is, in every Jewish soul there is literally a spark of G‑dliness that enlivens his G‑dly soul and naturally draws him upward, to be illuminated by the light of life, to give himself over to Him. And this is above the wisdom and knowledge in his soul. For through wisdom and knowledge alone, he would not attain this level, to nullify and surrender himself completely for His sake.

This is the meaning of "Banim Atem LaHashem Elokeichem" ("You are children to Hashem your G‑d"), for a child is like the leg of his father, included in his father's will without any reason or understanding, like a leg that is nullified to the head and has no will of its own at all. And this is "Batel Retzoncha Mipnei Retzono" ("Nullify your will before His will"), for in order that the inner will of Hashem should shine to a person, he must nullify all his desires so that he has no other will at all.

2) And behold, within a person there is the aspect of a settled city, a field, and a desert. The desert is "Eretz Lo Zeruah" ("an unplanted land")—these are the actions, speech, and thoughts that are not for Hashem. Not only if one has blemished in thought, speech, or action, but even in permissible matters, if they are not needed for the service of Hashem and are idle matters—"it is not the way of the king to speak of mundane matters."

This is "Asher Lo Yashav Adam Sham" ("where no man dwells"). The meaning of "Adam" is as it is written: "And on the likeness of the throne was a likeness like the appearance of a man etc."—"He shall not dwell there." For it is written: "Ve'asu Li Mikdash V'Shachanti B'Socham" ("They shall make Me a sanctuary and I will dwell among them").

The advice for this is as it is written: "U'Bikashtem Misham Es Hashem Elokecha" ("And from there you will seek Hashem your G‑d"). The meaning is, as it is written: "Vayar Elokim Es HaOr Ki Tov" ("And G‑d saw the light, that it was good"), and our Sages explain: "Ki Tov—Lignoz" ("that it was good—to be hidden"). The aspect of light, which is the illumination of the inner will of Hashem, exists in every Jew, but it is very hidden and concealed by nature. One must reveal the treasure of awe of Heaven. (See elsewhere on "Mi Gila L'Vanei Raz Zeh"—and this is the hidden love.) There are those for whom it is in a state of being lost, in exile.

And about this it is said: "U'Bikashtem"—you shall seek and search. Searching is only for something lost. That is, something that is lost to him, in exile, which is the spark of G‑dliness mentioned above. And this is "Es Hashem Elokecha," which is drawn from the aspect of "El" that rests within every person to enliven his G‑dly soul.

And the verse says: "U'Bikashtem Misham"—specifically from there. For just as one cannot search for and find a lost object except in the place where it was lost, so too, one cannot attain the light of Hashem's countenance, and that his love and awe should be upon him, except after searching first in the place where it was lost to him. As it says: "Nachpesa Deracheinu etc." ("Let us search our ways"), that he should examine his actions, speech, and thoughts that have passed since his existence, which were not good.

This is "U'Bikashtem Misham." For the word "zeh" ("this") refers to something one can point to with a finger—"Asher Ye'amer Alav Ki Hu Zeh" ("about which it will be said: this is it"). And this can only be said about the Holy One, as it is written: "Zeh Keili V'Anveihu" ("This is my G‑d and I will glorify Him"), for "the whole world is filled with His glory." But the place and dwelling of the kelipos is called "sham" ("there"), meaning very deep below.

And this is what our Sages expound on the verse: "Kara'u Shem Paroh etc. He'evir HaMo'ed" ("They called the name of Pharaoh... he passed the appointed time"). That is, the path of the festival and joy was turned into joy of frivolity. And this is the meaning of "BaMidbar HaZeh Yitamu" ("In this desert they will be finished"). The meaning is, through the words of prayer, which is the aspect of "BaMidbar HaZeh" ("this desert"), as it is written: "Zeh Keili etc." And likewise in Torah study, as it says in Parshas Mattos regarding "Leimor Zeh HaDavar etc." Through this, "Yitamu"—as it says in Zohar Shelach 163b: "Tamim Tihyeh etc." ("You shall be wholehearted"). "V'Sham Yamusu" ("and there they will die") refers to the falling on the face (Nefilas Apayim), which is the elevation of sparks that fell into the aspect of "sham," through "Eilecha Hashem Nafshi Esa etc." ("To You, Hashem, I lift my soul"). And this is "V'Otanu Hotzi Misham" ("He took us out from there"), for in truth, He took us out from the aspect of "sham," to cleave to Him.

But one who has blemished in thought or speech, and all the more so in action—about this it is said: "U'Bikashtem Misham," that is, he should examine his actions, etc., which were not good. Through this, his heart will be broken within him, and he will return to Hashem and He will have mercy on him. That is, he will arouse great mercy on the spark of G‑dliness within him, which is in exile.

And about this it is said: "L'Yaakov Asher Padah Es Avraham" ("To Yaakov who redeemed Avraham"), for the attribute of Yaakov is mercy, through which the attribute of love, which is the attribute of Avraham our father, is redeemed from exile. For this reason, he is called "Avinu" ("our father"), to be like a child, nullified and included in His will.

(See on "U'Bikashtem Misham," on "Vayeishev Yaakov"; and on "K'nesher Ya'ir," regarding "Dirshu etc. B'Himatzo.")

But if a person examines his deeds and is not aroused to mercy, and his heart is not broken within him, even though he contemplates how the spark of G‑dliness has fallen into exile within his soul, he should take to heart and apply the following parable: It is human nature that if even his toenail hurts from being stubbed on a stone, he feels the pain in his brain and is distressed. But this is only when the injured limb is still attached before it is cut off. But when the limb is severed, the brain does not feel the pain, because it is cut off and separated from its source.

So too, we, the Jewish people, are connected and attached to Him, and therefore we must feel the pain and blemish we have caused by bringing the spark of His G‑dliness into exile. For even if one has sinned^[1], he still has the spark of G‑dliness mentioned above, and it does not depart from him, but is in exile. Moreover, he is still called by the rank and level of "the prince," which is the aspect of Yisrael mentioned above. For the rank of a prince, even when in captivity, is not the same as that of a commoner. For the prince's greatness is still recognized and known. And with one movement, he can be transformed from one extreme to the other, to return to his original state, etc.

But if he does not feel the pain and blemish in his soul, it is because he has blemished so much that he is completely separated and cut off from his source. From this, on the contrary, he should arouse even greater mercy, even though he does not feel mercy for himself. As explained elsewhere on the phrase: "B'Rachamecha HaRabim Rachem Aleinu" ("In Your abundant mercy, have mercy on us"). The meaning is, because our limited intellect cannot grasp the greatness of the mercy, etc. For the attribute of mercy, the attribute of Yaakov, extends from one end to the other.

(Even though it is like the parable of being completely separated and cut off from its source, nevertheless, through one thought of teshuvah, he can return and be reattached to his source. As it is written in Parshas Bamidbar, on "Vayidaber etc. L'Gilg'losam," like if there were a remedy to reconnect his body to his head. So too is the concept of "Nesi'as Rosh" ("lifting of the head"), etc., and on "BaYom HaShemini Atzeres." Even those liable for excision, about whom it is written: "V'Nichresa etc." ("He shall be cut off"), regarding them the verse says: "Ki Avi V'Imi Azavuni, VaHashem Ya'asfeini" ("For my father and mother have abandoned me, but Hashem will gather me in"))

And if even then he is not aroused to the attribute of mercy mentioned above, this is the advice: For it is written: "HaRo'eh BaShoshanim" ("Who grazes among the roses"), and the Zohar explains (Shemos 20): "Just as a rose turns from red to white through fire, etc." So too, it is written: "Im Yihyu Chata'eichem KaShanim, KaSheleg Yalbinu" ("If your sins are like scarlet, they will become white as snow"). Sin is called red. Likewise, all actions, speech, and thoughts in worldly matters are also called red, for they are thoughts of the yetzer and its schemes—they are transformed to white, which is "KaSheleg Yalbinu" ("they will become white as snow") through the aspect of fire.

There is a fire from above and a fire from below. The fire from above is not attained by everyone. But the fire from below is the idea of self-affliction and fasting, to reduce one's fat and blood, which are from the side of kelipah, and then: "Ya'er Hashem Panav"—the illumination of the countenance as above.

3) But there is one more thing a person must consider, as it is written: "BaShvakim U'V'Rechovos Avaksha Es She'ahava Nafshi etc. Ad Shematzasi Es She'ahava Nafshi, Achaztiv V'Lo Arpenu Ad Sheheveisiv El Beis Imi V'El Cheder Horasi" ("In the streets and in the squares I will seek the one my soul loves, until I found the one my soul loves, I held him and would not let him go until I brought him to my mother's house and to the room of my conception").

The explanation: "She'ahava Nafshi" with a kamatz means "already"—that which my soul already loved. That is, "Yisrael Alu B'Machshava" ("Israel arose in the primordial thought"). This is the aspect of "Tehorah Hi" ("it is pure"), before "Atah Barasa" ("You created it"), as explained on "Yonasi B'Chagvei HaSela." From this aspect, the hidden light is drawn, which is the hidden love, as above on "Es HaOr Ki Tov Lignoz etc." This is "She'ahava Nafshi" from before. And as explained on "Re'eh Anochi" regarding "LeEisan HaEzrachi" etc. But for some, this love is in a state of being lost, in exile as above. And about this it is said: "Avaksha Es She'ahava Nafshi" ("I will seek the one my soul loves").

The aspect of searching is in the streets and squares, in the place of the loss. But even if one finds the lost object, the light of Hashem will not remain with him without vessels, for this causes the light to depart, as is known. Therefore, the advice is to make vessels for the light of Hashem, and these are the letters of Torah. For "Beis Imi" ("my mother's house")—this is the Written Torah. "Cheder Horasi" ("the room of my conception")—this is the Oral Torah. As it is written: "Ki Hashem Elokecha Eish Ochlah Hu" ("For Hashem your G‑d is a consuming fire"). Just as fire cannot take hold without a wick or something to grasp, so too: "Achaztiv V'Lo Arpenu Ad Sheheveisiv etc." ("I held him and would not let him go until I brought him etc."). See more on this in the maamar "Bamidbar Sinai B'Ohel Moed."

And as the Zohar says on the verse: "HaRo'eh BaShoshanim"—roses, meaning one who studies halachos, etc. Therefore, it is written: "HaRo'eh" ("the one who grazes"), for Israel sustains their Father in Heaven. For through Torah study, which is His will, "Ruach Aysi Ruach V'Amshech Ruach" ("spirit brings spirit and draws spirit"), so that the aspect of His inner will rests and is revealed within him.

Just as through eating, a person connects his soul to his body so that the powers of his soul are extended within him expansively, so too, Israel, so to speak, sustains their Father in Heaven through Torah and mitzvos, which are His will. "Ruach Aysi Ruach V'Amshech Ruach," so that the illumination of His will is revealed through the letters of Torah.

Also, through the mitzvah of tzedakah, which is the attribute of chesed, the external vessel for the light and love, the inner aspect. As it is written: "Ki B'Or Panecha Nasata Lanu Toras Chaim V'Ahavas Chesed" ("For in the light of Your countenance You have given us the Torah of life and love of kindness"). The meaning is, for the light of Hashem's countenance, which is the light, there are two vessels—Torah and kindness, as above.

Summary of the Maamar "Ani LeDodi"

(1) In Elul, it begins with the aspect of "Ani LeDodi," that is, an awakening from below, and on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur is "VeDodi Li," the drawing down of His G‑dliness below. First, "Semo'lo Tachas LeRoshi," awe. In Elul—the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy. So why are they not Yom Tov? (See also on Purim, in the maamar "Chayav Inish etc. Ad D'Lo Yada.")

But this is like the parable of a king whom people go out to greet in the field. "Ya'er Hashem Panav"—this is the Thirteen Attributes. And the aspect of "Ya'er" is as it is written: "El Hashem Vaya'er Lanu." See more on this in the maamar "Roshei HaMatos."

This is "Yisrael"—"Yashar El" ("straight to G‑d"). (See on "La'asos HaYashar," s.v. Ki Tishma B'Kol.) The aspect of "El" rules and governs within him.

(2) And within a person there is the aspect of a settled city, as explained in the maamar on Parshas Nesachim regarding "Eretz Moshvoteichem," and the aspect of a field, as explained in Torah Or, Parshas Chayei Sarah, on "Vayetze Yitzchak Lasuach BaSadeh." And the aspect of a desert—this is "Eretz Lo Zeruah."

(See also on "Eileh Masei" and on the concept of planting in the maamar "Haazinu HaShamayim," and in the maamar "Beshalach Paroh," and in the maamar "Shishim Heimah Malchot.")

"Asher Lo Yashav Adam Sham"—the opposite of "Ha'umnam Yeshav Elokim Al Haaretz" ("Can G‑d indeed dwell on the earth").

The advice for this is as it is written: "U'Bikashtem Misham." For the light that is good is to be hidden, the aspect of "El Hashem Vaya'er Lanu" that is in the aspect of Yisrael.

But there are those for whom it is in a state of being lost, as in: "Who is a fool? One who loses what is given to him." And as it is written: "U'Vau HaOvdim B'Eretz Ashur" ("And the lost ones will come from the land of Ashur"). And it is written: "Ta'iti Keseh Oveid" ("I have strayed like a lost sheep").

See more on this in Gemara Makos 24a and in Maharsha there, and in Midrash Rabbah Parshas Korach and Parshas Beshalach, end of chapter 24: "Just as sheep, so too Israel, even though they sin, etc." This is the lost sheep. One must search in the place where it was lost, to examine his deeds. This is "U'Bikashtem Misham, V'Shavta El Hashem V'Yirachamecha" ("You will seek from there, and return to Hashem and He will have mercy on you").

(And from this, one comes to the aspect of "Shema," the name Ayin. And also, the aspect of desert is elevated to "U'Midbarecha Naveh" ("and your desert is lovely"). As explained in the maamar "Bamidbar Sinai B'Ohel Moed," that through teshuvah one comes to the aspect of desert where no man dwells, which is above the level of man, and is called the great and awesome desert.)

But if a person does not feel mercy in his soul, it is because he has blemished so much that he is completely separated and cut off from his source. (And excision is the opposite of the aspect of Kesser, as explained in Ma'amar HaAyin, letter Kaf, section 15.) From this, on the contrary, he should arouse even greater mercy, and through this, there is hope. This is "HaRo'eh BaShoshanim"—the aspect of the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy.

And another explanation of "BaShoshanim" is as in: "If your sins are like scarlet, they will become white as snow." Just as a rose turns from red to white through fire. See more on the concept of fire in the maamar "V'Haya Lachem L'Tzitzis," and in Parshas Behar on "Ki Tavo'u etc. V'Shavsa Haaretz etc.," and through this: "Ya'er Hashem Panav."

Also, "shoshanim" hints to the aspect of "B'Raza Sumka L'Susya Chivra." This is also the concept of the "lashon shel zehorit" (the red thread). And this is the concept of white and gold garments, as explained in Raya Mehemna, Parshas Pinchas 255b. See more in the maamar "Lamnatzeach Al HaSheminis."

And as it is written about David: "Admoni Im Yefei Einayim" ("ruddy with beautiful eyes"). See more in the explanation on "V'Chol Banayich."

(3) And further, one must explain what is written: "Achaztiv V'Lo Arpenu etc."—for "She'ahava Nafshi" with a kamatz means "already." As in "they have already existed for worlds," for Israel arose in primordial thought. This is "VaAni B'Soch HaGolah Al Nahar Kevar" ("And I was among the exile by the river Kevar").

See more about "Kevar" in Midrash Rabbah Bereishis 16, and in Zohar Bereishis 6b, and in Mikdash Melech and Ramaz there, and in Zohar III, Pinchas (Ramaz 71a). See also in Torah Or, maamar "V'Eileh HaMishpatim" regarding "Ki Tikneh Eved Ivri."

And after one finds the revelation of this love, it is necessary: "Achaztiv etc.," to bring it to "Beis Imi"—this is the Written Torah. See Zohar II, Vayakhel (beginning). "Cheder Horasi"—this is the Oral Torah. See also in the maamar "Re'eh Anochi" regarding "a candle is lit on his head and they teach him etc." And in the maamar "V'Asisa Bigdei Kodesh L'Aharon Achicha."

This is the concept of "HaRo'eh BaShoshanim"—one who studies halachos. Israel sustains and is sustained. See on "Ra'yasi" in the maamar "Ani Yesheinah," and on "Lechu Lachmi B'Lachmi" in the maamar "Yonasi B'Chagvei." And the concept of two vessels, Torah and kindness, see in the explanation on "Ani Hashem Elokeichem" at the end of Parshas Tzitzis.

Summary

This maamar explains how Elul is a time of personal spiritual awakening, symbolized by "Ani LeDodi," leading to Divine revelation in Tishrei. Through teshuvah, self-examination, and Torah and mitzvos, every Jew can access the inner spark of G‑dliness and draw down the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy.