1. Counting the Ten Days of Teshuvah
The period known as Aseres Yemei Teshuvah—the Ten Days of Repentance—runs from Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur. Although there are only seven days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we count both days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur itself, making ten in all. Sometimes when people speak of “the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur” they mean specifically those seven intermediate days, but the full period is always ten days in halachah and in Chabad usage.
2. Weddings and Engagements During Aseres Yemei Teshuvah
There is a discussion regarding making weddings during the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah. The Rebbe mentioned a tradition to postpone weddings during these days, since they are serious days focused on teshuvah, which might not sit well with the joy and celebration appropriate to a wedding.
However, the Rebbe also strongly discouraged long engagements. He held that extended engagements are not healthy for either side, and can lead to emotional difficulty or to situations that are not proper. Especially in our times, when the yetzer hara is strong and there are many challenges, the Rebbe encouraged making the wedding as soon as possible.
The Rebbe explained that unless there is an explicit prohibition in Shulchan Aruch, such as the Three Weeks when weddings are forbidden, one should not delay unnecessarily. Since refraining from weddings during the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah is based on custom rather than strict halachah, it is a question whether that custom should override the need to avoid a long engagement.
3. Tzedakah Before and After Rosh Hashanah
The Rebbe emphasized the importance of establishing funds before Rosh Hashanah to help those in need celebrate Yom Tov properly, ensuring that everyone has enough food, clothing, and whatever else is necessary for the Yomim Tovim.
This responsibility does not end after Rosh Hashanah. Even if people were helped beforehand, it is important to check again afterward to see whether anyone still needs assistance. On a spiritual level, just as one must strive for a higher level each day, so too on the physical level someone who was provided for may now have new needs.
This continues into the preparations for Yom Kippur, when there is a mitzvah to eat on Erev Yom Kippur, and into Sukkos and beyond; we must continue supporting those in need throughout all these times.
4. The Chabad Custom Regarding Selichos During Aseres Yemei Teshuvah
A distinctive Chabad practice is not to say Selichos during the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah, with one exception: Tzom Gedaliah, the fast immediately after Rosh Hashanah, which is pushed to Sunday when it falls on Shabbos. On Tzom Gedaliah we do say Selichos, but on all the other days of the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah, including Erev Yom Kippur—and obviously not on Yom Kippur itself—Chabad does not recite Selichos.
This stands in contrast to most other communities, where Selichos are recited every morning during these ten days before davening.
5. The Reason Behind Not Saying Selichos
The reason for this custom was somewhat unclear until the Rebbe explained it. Although Shulchan Aruch states that one should say Selichos during these days, Chabad does not follow that practice. This divergence does not reflect any disregard for halachah or for Shulchan Aruch; it comes from a concern for authentic avodah.
There are many instances of customs that differ from what appears in Shulchan Aruch for deeper reasons rooted in tradition or in spiritual priorities. Here it reflects a different approach, not a lesser seriousness about teshuvah or tefillah.
6. A Parallel Chabad Custom: Ani Maamin
The same approach can be seen elsewhere. Most siddurim include reciting the thirteen principles of faith (Ani Maamin) after davening each day; Chabad does not say them daily. Various reasons are discussed, including questions about their precise formulation, but one explanation is that emunah must be internalized in the heart rather than merely recited by rote.
The idea is that saying something repeatedly can come to substitute for actually feeling and living it. As it has been expressed: some say it, and some believe it—saying the words alone does not guarantee true belief or transformation within.
7. Action Over Words During These Days
The Rebbe explained Selichos similarly: there is a time for speaking about forgiveness and a time for actually doing teshuvah—taking concrete steps toward self-improvement rather than only reciting words of repentance.
The emphasis during the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah, according to Chabad tradition, is on learning more Torah, davening with greater focus, reflecting deeply on one’s actions, feeling genuine remorse over past shortcomings, and accepting good resolutions for the future—in short, actually doing teshuvah rather than only speaking about it through extra prayers.
Whichever explanation resonates most, this remains an established tradition: except for Tzom Gedaliah, we do not say Selichos during the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah. Instead we direct our energy toward sincere inner work and practical steps toward return and renewal.
Questions covered in this shiur
Why is it not encouraged to make a wedding during the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah? · The Rebbe encouraged that funds be available to assist people with their Yom Tov needs even after Yom Kippur — why? · It is not the Chabad custom to say Selichos during the Aseres Yemei Teshuvah; what day is the exception? · Why is the custom in Chabad not to say the thirteen principles of faith after davening?