Parenting – Raising daughters

גידול ילדים – חינוך הבנות

The Rebbe's guidance to parents on raising and educating their daughters:

Daughters build the Jewish home. At Sinai, G-d told Moshe to speak first to the women, who would guide their children toward Torah; every girl is destined to build a home in Israel, so parents must see to it that their daughters receive a proper Torah education (IK 100). Where girls' education has slipped, it is never too late: parents should unite and act, educating their daughters to be faithful to Torah and mitzvos without compromise (IK 4258). A Chabad innovation is that girls are involved in Jewish life from a very young age, not only after marriage (IK 9813).

Education based on Torah, not only on custom. Girls' education must rest on Torah itself, not just on tradition absorbed at home; recent generations show the damage of relying on tradition alone (IK 2994). Women are obligated to learn the laws they need — family purity, kashrus, and all the mitzvos that apply to them. There is room for some Gemara, but the main focus should be practical halachah (Shulchan Aruch and Kitzur Shulchan Aruch) that leads to action; how much and in what way depends on the girls themselves (IK 2107, 9907).

Choosing her school. A daughter should be educated in Chabad institutions where possible (IK 8125). After Beis Yaakov, a girl should continue in a place with strong Torah values and good standards (IK 8151). Even while studying secular subjects, she must keep learning Jewish subjects, and it is worth living where there is a proper school for girls (IK 9808).

Mitzvos of her own. Girls should light Shabbos and Yom Tov candles from the age of chinuch — around six, or as soon as she understands — with one candle until marriage and with a blessing (IK 6538, 6849, 9993).

Before she marries. When a daughter reaches the age of shidduchim, a mother's first task is to speak with her — more than once, and without embarrassment — about how a Jewish home is run, especially family purity (IK 7999).

Army service. Religious girls are exempt from the draft according to Torah law; enlisting out of a wish to help is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline (IK 8756).

See also: Parenting – Choosing a school or yeshiva for your child; Bar and bas mitzvah – Bas mitzvah.

Shiurim in this topic

1556. School Attendance, Library Location, and Girls' Education in Meknes נוכחות בבית הספר, מיקום הספריה, וחינוך בנות במכנז

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2107. Teaching Gemara to Girls in Beis Yaakov Schools הוראת גמרא לבנות בבתי יעקב

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2994. Girls' Education Must Be Based on Torah, Not Just Tradition חינוך הבנות צריך להיות מבוסס על תורה, לא רק על מסורת

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4258. Pain Over Decline in Girls' Education and the Need for Unified Parental Action צער על הירידה בחינוך הבנות והצורך בפעולה מאוחדת של ההורים

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48. Establishing Bais Rivka Schools and Shabbos Gatherings for Girls יסוד בתי ספר בית רבקה ומסבות שבת לילדות

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