Shidduchim – Time between engagement and wedding

שידוכים – זמן בין אירוסין לחתונה

On the time between engagement and the wedding, the Rebbe's guidance:

Don't prolong the engagement. Once both sides have agreed, set a wedding date promptly and keep the time between the decision and the wedding as short as possible; hastening the wedding is commendable and brings added blessing (IK 9096, 9223, 10041, 10059, 10888, 10913). Ideally it should be under a year (IK 10364). This applies all the more when both live in the same city, for reasons of tznius (IK 10304). Customs of long engagements that have no basis should be reconsidered, unless there is a halachic reason (IK 3560). Long engagements are discouraged, and where there are many uncertainties, one should not proceed at all (IK 10937).

Engagement customs and arrangements. Follow local Chabad custom for the engagement formalities; what matters most is arranging the wedding in good time (IK 5014). Writing tenaim on the day of the wedding is entirely proper (IK 1886). Wedding arrangements, including timing and venue, follow custom and are decided by the parents; communicate directly to prevent misunderstandings, and clarify the practical details in advance (IK 9761, 10492).

Timing in the calendar. Weddings are held throughout Kislev, but not in Teves (IK 6519).

Shiurim in this topic

1268. Milestones of Joy, Guidance, and Blessing ציוני דרך של שמחה, הדרכה, וברכה

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1886. Writing Tenaim on the Wedding Day כתיבת תנאים ביום החתונה

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3560. Blessings for Success in Torah-Chassidic Education and Guidance on Shidduchim Timing ברכות להצלחה בחינוך תורתי חסידותי והדרכה על זמן השידוכים

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5014. Engagement Customs and Wedding Preparation מנהגי אירוסין והכנה לחתונה

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6519. Wedding Timing, Preparation, and Spiritual Emphasis זמן החתונה, ההכנה, והדגשה רוחנית

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