10364 —עצה על החלטות שידוך וזמן האירוסין

Advice on Shidduch Decisions and Timing of Engagement

ב' ניסן, ה'תשל"ב
The Rebbe writes that the individual must decide regarding the shidduch, consulting with her parents if in doubt. He reiterates his well-known view to minimize the time between decision and engagement, especially regarding the vort and wedding, ideally less than a year.
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[ב' ניסן, ה'תשל"ב]

שלום וברכה!

בנוגע

לעצם השידוך – מובן שבזה עלי' להחליט. באם ספק כו' – בהתייעצות עם הורי' שי' וכיו"ב.

מפורסמת

דעתי שצ"ל קיצור בזמן שבין החלטה לשידוך ובפרט עשיית "וואָרט" וכיו"ב להחתונה.

עכ"פ פחות משנה.

אזכיר עה"צ להנ"ל.

B"H, 2 Nissan, 5732.

Shalom u'Vrachah!

Regarding the actual shidduch—it is understood that she herself must decide. If there is any doubt, etc.—she should consult with her parents, may they live and be well, and so forth.

My well-known opinion is to shorten as much as possible the time between the decision for a shidduch and especially making the vort (engagement celebration), etc., until the wedding. In summary: less than a year.

I will mention this at the Tziyun for those mentioned above.


Summary

The Rebbe advises that decisions about a shidduch should be made by the individual, with parental consultation if needed. He emphasizes minimizing delays between agreement and engagement or wedding—ideally keeping it under a year—and offers to pray for those involved.

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