9223 —דחיית שידוכים וזמן אידיאלי לנישואין

Delaying Engagements and the Ideal Timing for Marriage

The Rebbe writes that in our times, for several reasons, it is not appropriate to bind oneself or another to an engagement if the wedding will be far off. On the contrary, shortening the time between decision and marriage is praiseworthy.
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שלום וברכה!

[תשכ"ו]

בימינו אלה הנה מכמה טעמים (כולל גם - דיר"ש) אינו ענין צו בינדען זיך ועאכו"כ א צווייטן - באם התכנית שהחתונה תהי' לאחרי זמן רב. ואדרבה - כל המקצר בזמן שבין ההחלטה והחתונה - ה"ז משובח.

נדפסה בלקו"ש חי"ד ע' 303.

בימינו אלה: מענה לא' שרצה להשתדך באופן שהחתונה תהי' לאחר זמן רב. וראה גם לעיל אגרת ט'קלד, ובהנסמן בהערות שם.

Shalom u'Vrachah!

[5726] In our days, for several reasons (including also — fear of Heaven), it is not appropriate to bind oneself, and certainly not another person, if the plan is for the wedding to take place after a long time. On the contrary — whoever shortens the time between the decision and the wedding, this is praiseworthy.

Printed in Likkutei Sichos vol. 14, p. 303. In our days: a response to someone who wanted to arrange an engagement where the wedding would be after a long time. See also above letter no. 9294, and what is cited in the notes there.


Summary

The Rebbe teaches that engagements should not be prolonged unnecessarily; it is best to minimize the time between deciding to marry and the actual wedding.

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