Shidduchim – Identical names and adding a name

שידוכים – שמות זהים והוספת שם

On shared names between a chosson or kallah and a future in-law, and on adding a name, the Rebbe's guidance:

When the names are not exactly the same, there is no issue. Nor is there a problem when one of the names is used only occasionally, or when each person is called by a distinct name or by their full name (IK 901, 1068, 2485). As an added measure, use all of one's given names when called to the Torah and when signing documents (IK 901).

Where there is a concern, adding a name resolves it, for example when a kallah shares her future mother-in-law's name. This should be done with the guidance of a rav and according to halachah (IK 6104, 9079). The Rebbe sometimes also advised adding a name when a shidduch is delayed or after a broken engagement, together with strengthening Torah and mitzvos, checking tefillin and mezuzos, and giving tzedakah daily (IK 6424, 6638, 9079).

In one letter the Rebbe confirmed that the chosson's name posed no issue according to his father-in-law, the Previous Rebbe (IK 9096).

Shiurim in this topic

901. Clarification on Names in a Shidduch הבהרה על שמות בשידוך

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1068. Relocation Choices and Shidduch Name Issue אפשרויות העתקה וענין שם בשידוך

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2485. When the Proposed Groom Shares the Same Name as His Father-in-Law כאשר החתן המיועד נושא את אותו השם כמו חותנו

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6104. Identical Names in Shidduchim and Adding a Name שמות זהים בשידוכים והוספת שם

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6424. Adding a Name Before Marriage and Strengthening Torah Observance הוספת שם לפני נישואין וחיזוק קיום התורה

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6638. Advice on Matchmaking, Adding a Name, and Spiritual Influence עצה על שידוך, הוספת שם, והשפעה רוחנית

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9079. Marriage Guidance, Adding a Name, and Checking Tefillin and Mezuzot הדרכה לנישואין, הוספת שם, ובדיקת תפילין ומזוזות

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9096. Wedding Timing, Residence, and Name Clarification for a Chabad Couple זמן החתונה, מקום דירה, והבהרת שמות לזוג חב"ד

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