Shidduchim – Age and age differences

שידוכים – גיל והפרשי גיל

On age in shidduchim, the Rebbe's guidance:

A large age gap between partners is not required, according to Chazal (IK 2042), and age differences are not always significant in themselves. What matters is whether a feeling of closeness grows over time; if it does, it will likely keep improving (IK 6889).

Where there is a large age difference, or the other side is older than usual, look into it carefully, including why the match was delayed, before deciding (IK 8038, 8234). Examine one's own motives honestly; if outside considerations are not driving the decision, one can proceed with confidence (IK 10494).

For young women, there is no need to rush. In one letter the Rebbe advised patience, putting a young woman's growth and education first before thinking about engagement (IK 7197).

Shiurim in this topic

2042. Advice on Age Differences in Shidduchim עצה על חילוקי גיל בשידוכים

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6889. Marriage Proposal, Age Differences, and Personal Feelings הצעת נישואין, חילוקי גיל, ורגשות אישיים

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7197. On Writing After Yud Shevat and Guidance Regarding a Daughter's Shidduch על כתיבה לאחר י' שבט והדרכה בנוגע לשידוך בתו

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7952. Guidance on a Shidduch Proposal for a Daughter and an Avrech הדרכה על הצעת שידוך לבת ואברך

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8038. Guidance on Shidduch with a 35-Year-Old Woman הדרכה על שידוך עם אשה בת שלושים וחמש

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8234. Marriage Proposal with Large Age Difference and Business Stability Advice הצעת נישואין עם הבדל גיל גדול ועצה על יציבות בעסקים

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10494. Guidance on Age Differences and Divorce in Shidduchim הדרכה על הבדלי גיל וגירושין בשידוכים

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