3220 —מציאת שידוך על ידי שמחה והימנעות מעצבות

B"H, 23 Teves, 5715. Brooklyn.

Shalom u'Vrachah!

In response to your letter from Motzaei Shabbos Kodesh: surely it is unnecessary to point out that sadness and melancholy were greatly distanced by the great leaders of Israel, as is also explained in Tanya chapter 26 and many other places. It is also evident that not only does it not improve any situation, but on the contrary. This is especially true regarding matters you are involved with, particularly in this country where joy is accepted by the heart—unlike its opposite.

Above all, there is no basis for your sadness since it has already been said: 'From Hashem comes an intelligent wife.' The way to achieve this is as our sages say: one must search repeatedly as after a lost object—meaning one should strive energetically even though, as is customary among upright Jews, through intermediaries—and continue to pursue this with strong trust.

And may Hashem, Who after the six days of creation arranges matches as stated in Bereishis Rabbah, surely provide you with your good match soon both materially and spiritually. The merit of your involvement in bringing the hearts of Jews closer to our Father in Heaven through learning the inner dimension of Torah and following its guidance—which brings about marriage (not just engagement) between Knesses Yisrael and Hakadosh Baruch Hu—should hasten your finding what was lost so you will be matched soon in the best possible way and build a chassidic home everlasting and with joy.

Since you mentioned this: on Monday (besides Rosh Chodesh), the fifth day of Shovavim Tat of this year, delay your meals by ten to fifteen minutes. During these moments study Chassidus.

I have mentioned by name those participants in the classes you wrote about at the resting place of my father-in-law the Rebbe zatzal nishmaso Eden kedosh v'tzadik etc., called 'alive.' "And whoever comes before a holy person of Hashem who is known by name will have merit and life in this matter" (Ramban Bamidbar 1:45; see there).

With blessings for a shiduch soon.

Summary

The Rebbe teaches that maintaining joy and avoiding sadness are essential when searching for a shiduch. Trusting in G‑d’s help while actively pursuing opportunities leads to success both materially and spiritually.