10645 —התכתבות עם בנות מעבר לים וסכנות קשרי מכתבים

B"H, 15 Teves, 5733.

Brooklyn, NY.

Shalom u'Vrachah!

I received your letter from 9/12/72 (I see you also know English, but of course I am more pleased that the main part of your letter is in our language, the Holy Tongue).

I was pleased to read that the shluchim conveyed greetings regarding the days of Chanukah, and may it be G‑d's will that the wishes and blessings of the hearts of the Jewish people for one another be fulfilled completely—and even more so, as taught by the mitzvah of Chanukah candles: in a manner of increasing light. Based on your letter's content, I hope it will be so for you as well in the style of our Torah—'a mitzvah is a lamp and Torah is light'—to increase in learning and knowledge of Torah (Torah Or), and in lighting its candles—its mitzvos. Nothing stands in the way of willpower. Especially since you are in a framework where you can be—as it says—'as a wonder to many,' a model and guide for each of your friends, may they live, and the merit of the many helps you.

Regarding your conclusion about corresponding with religious girls overseas to learn about Jewish youth lifestyles etc., while it is certainly good to know about how Jews live everywhere—and especially when there is mutual benefit to learn from each other, as our Sages say: 'Who is wise? One who learns from every person,' meaning one can learn something good from everyone if one focuses on their good qualities—nevertheless, since you emphasize girls, after asking forgiveness, I believe there is a negative point here. Such correspondence could spark further plans or hopes to learn about life abroad and even lead to lifelong connections—that is, matchmaking. Since it is certainly not proper to decide such a serious matter based solely on correspondence, this pen pal relationship could confuse those involved and prevent them from seeking suitable matches in their own environment etc. Surely this needs no further explanation.

Since your current lifestyle is based on discipline and following orders without questioning them—this being fundamental to army life—this habit prepares you (I mean all those serving in the army) for completeness and excellence in accepting the yoke of Heaven; that is, simply fulfilling G‑d's commandments. Surely this too needs no further explanation.

With respect and blessings that Hashem should fulfill all your heart's desires for good.

Summary

The Rebbe cautions against pen pal relationships with girls overseas due to potential confusion regarding marriage prospects. He encourages focusing on Torah study and mitzvos within disciplined settings like army service as preparation for accepting G‑d's sovereignty.