10497 —בהירות לפני קבלת החלטות רציניות כמו שידוכים

Clarity Before Making Serious Decisions Like Shidduchim

ה'תשל"ב
The Rebbe writes that when a person is unclear about their own situation and desires, it is impossible to make serious decisions such as shidduchim. He advises finding a trustworthy, responsible person to whom all doubts and considerations can be shared.
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[ה'תשל"ב]

שלום וברכה!

כנראה ממכתבו אין ברור

לו לעצמו

: מהו המצב, מה רוצה, מה מפתים אותו אחרים, מה מהותה וכו' וכו'. ומובן שבמצב כזה א"א שיחליט ע"ד ענין רציני כשידוך – ע"ד עצמו. וימצא מי שהוא

אחראי

שאפשר לסמוך עליו וימסור לו כל השקו"ט

וכו'

.

Shalom u'Vrachah!

It seems from your letter that you yourself are not clear: what your situation is, what you want, what others are enticing you with, what its essence is, etc., etc.

And it is understood that in such a state, one cannot decide on a serious matter like shidduchim—even for oneself. You should find someone responsible whom you can trust and share with them all your doubts and considerations.


Summary

The Rebbe teaches that clarity about one's own desires and situation is essential before making major life decisions. Consulting a trustworthy advisor can help bring this clarity.

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