9154 —מנהגים לאבל העובר לפני התיבה ובטחון בהשגחה פרטית

B"H, 14 Sivan, 5726. Brooklyn.

Shalom u'Vrachah!

In response to your letter from Rosh Chodesh Sivan, where you outline the main points of your life story and recent experiences, concluding with what happened when you led the prayers on Rosh Chodesh, etc.

Since you wrote that this is the custom of the congregation in the synagogue where you prayed (and also the custom of the entire city), according to several halachic authorities, you were obligated to follow the community's custom—even in matters more serious than what you describe. In any case, from now on, set aside concern about this matter; rather, strengthen your trust in Hashem Who watches over each individual with Divine Providence. Everything that the Merciful One does is for good (Kol Ma D'avid Rachmana L'tav Avid). Increasing trust in Hashem and involvement in Torah and mitzvos in general—per our Sages' assurance: "Whoever increases [in good], they increase for him." At an auspicious time, you will be mentioned at the holy resting place of my father-in-law, the Rebbe zatzal (ztzokl l'h nbgm zy"a), according to the content of your letter. May it be G‑d's will that just as you brought your request, so too may you soon share good news regarding this matter.

Blessings,
On behalf of the Rebbe shlit"a,
Secretary

P.S. Regarding a mourner leading prayers: The Chabad chassidic custom per our Rebbeim's instruction is not to lead prayers—even not for Maariv—on a day when Musaf is recited. However, as above regarding your situation: since you prayed as a shaliach tzibbur (prayer leader) following a different custom, this is understood.

You wrote: My father z"l passed away on Shabbat, 9 Adar II 5725. As a mourner I led prayers and recited Kaddish according to halacha. Rosh Chodesh Nissan that year fell on Shabbat—a day when a mourner does not serve as shaliach tzibbur. On Rosh Chodesh Iyar I followed Jerusalem's custom: The shaliach tzibbur leads until Hallel blessings; after another finished Hallel I recited Kaddish Tiskabel. In the middle of chazaras hashatz I began feeling unwell and barely finished; because it was Rosh Chodesh I did not continue further. Afterwards I felt fine as if nothing had happened. Exactly one month later on Rosh Chodesh Sivan I again felt unwell during chazaras hashatz; during "Hanun HaMarbeh Lisloach" I had to stop and someone else finished. While ill in bed at home it occurred to me that perhaps my conduct during aveilus contradicted the ruling of the Gaon from Vilna zt"l—that a mourner should not lead on Rosh Chodesh even for Mincha—and my father z"l who was from Vilna named me Eliyahu after him; maybe because of this I was punished by Hashem.

Summary

The Rebbe clarifies that following local communal customs is proper even for mourners leading prayers and encourages letting go of guilt or worry over past actions. Instead, he urges strengthening trust in Hashem’s goodness and increasing Torah observance.