5472 —מנהגי יום הולדת ולקחים רחבים מהלכה

B"H, 22 Iyar, 5717.

Brooklyn, NY.

Havavac"h iy"a nu"n etc. Tuvia Beloi

Shalom u'Vrachah!

In response to your message about your birthday: Surely you have followed the recent custom of Anash to give tzedakah on your birthday before Shacharis and Minchah or on the preceding day if your birthday falls on Shabbos or Yom Tov; to learn an additional lesson both in Nigleh and Chassidus; to receive an aliyah on your birthday or the preceding Shabbos; and to learn the three daily portions in Chumash, Tehillim, and Tanya—on your birthday.

May it be the will of Hashem that this year be a year of success for you both materially and spiritually, that you increase in Torah study and mitzvah observance with expansiveness, and spread the wellsprings as required in this matter—and obviously so.

Your attention to the wording of the Alter Rebbe (regarding bedikas chametz) in his Siddur: "And he should have members of his household stand etc.—without condition" (see his wording in Shulchan Aruch Siman Taf-Lamed-Beis Se'if Ches). He explains that if only he checks, he will tire himself out and his checking will be diminished. Now: a) Only regarding women is it said they are lazy. b) According to this, it depends specifically on conditions such as house size, etc. And if you say that the precision in the Siddur is correct (and not just copied from Shulchan Aruch without intent to include all details), one can say the reason is that he holds it is a mitzvah to enable one's household also to perform this mitzvah—for by their checking they are doing a mitzvah (see Shulchan Aruch there at the end of Se'if Tes), even though they are not obligated. That is: not only oneself but also others should be enabled—even for fulfilling a mitzvah that is not a personal obligation.

Furthermore, we learn that since he himself will also check somewhat—there is no issue here of "mitzvah bo yoter mibeshlucho" (the mitzvah being greater when done personally rather than by an agent), unlike what seems implied by his wording in his Shulchan Aruch. Many lessons can be learned from this, and much has been taught thereby—though this is not the place for elaboration.

Summary

The Rebbe teaches that birthdays are marked by special customs such as tzedakah and extra Torah study. He draws a broader lesson from halacha: we should involve others in mitzvos whenever possible, thus sharing spiritual merit and deepening communal connection.