10936 —הדרכה לחוסר ודאות בהסכמה לשידוך

Guidance for Uncertainty in Agreeing to a Shidduch

[ה'תשל"ג]
The Rebbe writes that if one is not certain about agreeing to a shidduch, it is understandable that she cannot say yes. He suggests clarifying the situation as it is, stopping meetings for a few weeks, and then reconsidering after seeing the results of the break.
Audio for this shiur is coming soon

[ה'תשל"ג]

שלום וברכה!

כל זמן שלא יהי' אצלה

ברור

שהחליטה להסכים להשידוך – מובן שאין יכולה לומר הן.

ואולי כדאי לבארו המצב כמו שהוא, להפסיק להתראות זע"ז למשך שבועות אחדים – ותתבונן בכ"ז מחדש לאחרי שתראה תוצאות ההפסק.

[5733]

Shalom u'Vrachah!

As long as it is not clear to her that she has decided to agree to the shidduch, it is understandable that she cannot say yes. Perhaps it would be worthwhile to clarify the situation as it is, to stop meeting with him for a few weeks—and then reconsider the matter anew after seeing the results of this pause.


Summary

The Rebbe advises that when uncertain about agreeing to a shidduch, one should pause meetings for several weeks and then reevaluate the situation with fresh perspective.

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