6119 - Guiding a Child Toward His Proper Path

The Rebbe writes that he is responding to the recipient’s letter in which he described several aspects of his life and concluded with a concern regarding his younger son. Although the son has many accomplishments and abilities, the parent writes that he lacks the patience and determination to apply himself seriously to study.

The Rebbe explains that in such situations the most effective approach is often to place the young person in an environment where Torah study—Limudei Kodesh—is pursued with diligence and devotion throughout most of the day. Therefore, if possible, it would be advisable for the son, at least for a certain period of time, to study in one of the yeshivos in Europe where the entire day is devoted to Torah learning.

The Rebbe notes that the parent will likely be able to influence the son to try this, especially if it is presented as a temporary arrangement. After some time in such a setting, it will become clearer whether the difficulty truly lies within the child himself or whether the previous environment simply did not encourage focused study. A strong and supportive environment may awaken his interest and dedication.

However, if it becomes evident that even such an environment does not lead him to study with diligence and devotion, then it should be remembered that the holy Torah teaches that among the Jewish people there are different roles and paths.

Even among those who observe Torah and mitzvos, there are those whose primary occupation is Torah study and scholarship, although they also fulfill mitzvos. Others devote themselves primarily to the observance and performance of mitzvos and good deeds, while maintaining regular daily times for Torah study. Both of these groups serve an essential role within the Jewish people.

A person can become a respected and valuable member of the community in either of these paths. Therefore, if the son does not develop into a scholar devoted primarily to Torah study, he can still become an individual distinguished through the fulfillment of mitzvos and positive deeds.

The Rebbe concludes with a blessing that the parents should have true nachas—Jewish nachas—from their children in every respect.

The Rebbe also suggests checking the son’s tefillin and the mezuzos in the home to ensure that they are fully kosher according to halachah. In addition, he writes that the lady of the house should maintain the proper Jewish custom of giving tzedakah before lighting the Shabbos and Yom Tov candles.

The letter concludes with blessings for good news.

Summary
The Rebbe advises that a young man who lacks motivation for study may benefit from being placed in a strong yeshiva environment devoted entirely to Torah learning. If this approach does not awaken his diligence, the Rebbe explains that different people serve Hashem in different ways—some through scholarship and others through the fulfillment of mitzvos and good deeds. The Rebbe blesses the parents with true Jewish nachas and encourages strengthening the spiritual environment of the home.