536 —קדיש ומנהגי אבלות כאשר הקבורה מתעכבת

B"H, 26 Tishrei, 5710.

The Avrech Hatamim Havuac"h iy"a etc. Shmuel Platkin

Shalom u'Vrachah!

In response to your question regarding your father of blessed memory who passed away on 8 Cheshvan, with the casket shipped on the 14th of MarCheshvan and burial on the 7th of Kislev, and your uncertainty about how to conduct Kaddish and related practices—apparently from your letter he was not buried between the 8th and 14th of MarCheshvan.

I have not heard of specific customs in these matters, but if you refer to books of halachic rulings and customs by those qualified to rule, you will find among our elder Anash rabbis who can guide you according to established practice.

Regarding your note that you began saying Kaddish on the 14th of MarCheshvan—even though this is indeed the view of several later authorities (see Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 371:4), it seems to me that you should have begun on the 8th of MarCheshvan, based on the ruling of Admur in Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 71:1.

In brief, as it appears to me: Begin saying Kaddish from the 8th of MarCheshvan as above. Mourning begins from the 14th of MarCheshvan (Yoreh Deah siman 375:2). The conclusion of Kaddish is eleven months from the day of burial. In this case, since there is a significant gap between death and burial and some weeks are missing from the eleven months count (by combining three opinions: a) that Kaddish applies only after burial; b) that some customs say Kaddish for less than twelve months—see Kenesset HaGedolah Yoreh Deah siman 363 in Birkei Yosef siman 376:8; c) that one who says twelve months is praiseworthy—see Chinuch Beit Yehuda and Elef HaMagen), there is no contradiction here with Admur's ruling above, because there are several aspects to Kaddish: merit for the soul (so it begins even before burial), honor for one's father (so it is recited even during aninut), and saving from judgment in Gehinnom which begins after burial—therefore counting eleven months starts then. There is no need to worry about observers thinking one considers his father wicked if they see him stop saying Kaddish before twelve months from death; even if they do not know that burial was delayed by several days, they will see he stopped before completing twelve months from death.

The yahrzeit should be observed on the day of death (see Hayom Yom p.19). Although in this case there is a significant delay and there is debate among later authorities (see Yalkut Dat VeDin p.107), one can also consider the opinion that it is better to advance rather than postpone yahrzeit (see Chatam Sofer Orach Chaim siman 161). For extra measure during the first year, one may study Mishnayot or lead prayers also on the day of burial.

May it be speedily in our days that the rectification for the sin of eating from the Tree of Knowledge—which brought death into the world—will be completed as recounted in this week's Torah portion: "Death will be swallowed up," and we will merit eternal life and true life as explained in Torat Devar Elokim Chayim in Hemshach Rosh Hashanah may Hashem bless Him.

Summary

The Rebbe clarifies how to observe Kaddish and mourning when there is a delay between passing and burial. He details when each stage begins according to halachic sources, emphasizing both tradition and sensitivity to communal perceptions.