6653 —התגברות על קשיים בישיבה והתמקדות בטוב שבאחרים

B"H, 20 Teves, 5719. Brooklyn.

Shalom u'Vrachah!

In response to your letter from the Tenth of Teves fast—may it soon be transformed to joy and gladness—in which you write that you have been in Yeshivas Tomchei Temimim for a month and some days, and there are details about the situation there with which you are not satisfied, as you detail in your letter, etc.

And after asking your forgiveness, and prefacing with what our Sages explain: although the yetzer hara is called a fool (kesil), nevertheless he is cunning in his craft of enticing a Jew. Since people have different perspectives, it is understood that each person has their own approach suited to their character and nature. Regarding an Avrech who has decided on his own—despite various difficulties—to study Torah with awe of Heaven and advance in mitzvah observance and connection to all matters of Torah and its mitzvos, and has begun fulfilling this decision by entering an environment where emphasis is placed on awe of Heaven and learning the inner dimension of Torah: it is clear that if someone were to approach him with the claim that he should abandon his decision and return (G‑d forbid) to his previous ways, he would certainly not listen. Therefore, the yetzer hara tries another way—hoping perhaps he will be enticed by being told this is not the right place or method to achieve his goal. The yetzer hara will try to provide reasons that seem logical; perhaps he will find something since nothing in this world is perfect—everything contains a mixture of good and bad (though obviously there are vast differences: at one extreme the bad is only one part in thousands or tens of thousands and completely nullified; at the other extreme, G‑d forbid...). The more the yetzer hara sees a person succeeding on their chosen path and place—bringing their decision into action—the more it intensifies its enticements. As explained in Tanya: foreign thoughts and enticements from the yetzer hara intensify during prayer more than at other times of day—and this is understood.

It may be that some of your claims (at least partially) are correct—that among your fellow Avrechim there are deficiencies in certain points you mention. But this can be compared to a merchant earning his livelihood: when customers come to buy his goods, he tries to find among them those qualities that will help him sell his merchandise for maximum profit; he does not emphasize customer traits that contradict this goal. Similarly here: when connecting with another person, one should emphasize, highlight, and strengthen their good side—not the opposite.

I am certain that among your fellow Avrechim at yeshiva—many do not possess several undesirable points you mention about them; though like all people who are not perfect, they may have other points needing improvement. The best advice is: learn from every person—their good side—and connect with their positive qualities—not the reverse.

The conclusion from all this: you should study diligently and persistently; benefit from those Avrechim around you in Tomchei Temimim who are diligent learners (even if they do not prolong prayer) regarding your diligence; from those who do prolong prayer or have feeling (even if they are less diligent) regarding how you pray; etc. Our Sages have already said: "You labored and found [success]."

May it be G‑d's will that my above lines—few in quantity compared to the importance of the matter—will have their effect as you contemplate them deeply and expand upon them according to your understanding; for they describe reality as it truly is. Certainly everything you absorb at Tomchei Temimim can later be used—in due time—for influencing others positively; merit for many helps overcome imagined obstacles and brings success during your studies at yeshiva.

It is well known—the talk from my revered father-in-law Admor Maharashab of blessed memory (printed in Toras Shalom)—that one whose role is to be a mashpia (influencer), if he wants success in this role must first be a receiver in every detail; as our Sages say: "an empty vessel"—free from ulterior motives or personal confusion when receiving these matters—which then enables him over time to become a mashpia.

Additionally: surely several friends know about your decision to fundamentally change your path—and that you've already begun progressing accordingly. Any step backward would give them grounds to bring various arguments against your decision—that it's incorrect etc.—because like all Jews their G‑dly soul surely reproaches them for not making such a decision themselves—to return to true life through our Torah of life and fulfillment of its mitzvos about which it says "and live by them." To justify their lack of such a decision, it's easiest for them to cast doubt on your choice to return to our ancestors' path—to Torah tradition.

Blessings for only good news regarding all the above.

Summary

The Rebbe teaches that challenges encountered while striving for spiritual growth often stem from internal resistance meant to test one's resolve. By focusing on others' positive qualities and remaining steadfast in one's commitments despite imperfections around us, we grow personally and inspire those around us.