10940 —על שלום בית, פשרה, ופניה להדרכה רבנית

On Marital Peace, Compromise, and Seeking Rabbinic Guidance

[ה'תשל"ג]
The Rebbe writes about the great importance of peace, especially between husband and wife, noting that while perfection is unattainable in this world, each partner should strive to do their part, even if it means compromising. If efforts fail, they should consult a rabbinic authority.
Audio for this shiur is coming soon

[ה'תשל"ג]

שלום וברכה!

אותו המענה לכאו"א שי'.

כמש"כ בעבר – שגדול השלום בכלל ובפרט בין איש

לאשתו

, וגם בעניני עוה"ז כפשוטם.

ואף שאין שלימות בעוה"ז ובמילא גם ביחסיהם יכול להיות יותר טוב וכו' – תלוי זה ברצונו הטוב של כאו"א מהם לעשות חלקו בזה ואפילו באם צורך לוַותר על איזה ענינים – לחַזק השלום...

לחיים כדבעי צ"ל מנוחת הנפש, היינו שיתקבל כהנ"ל

בהרגשתם

דכאו"א מהם, ויתנהגו כמתאים והשם יצליחם.

באם ינסו כנ"ל ולא יתקבל זה בהרגשתם וכו' – יציעו

כל

הטענות והסברות שלהם

בכ"ז

לרב מורה הוראה ויעשו כעצתו.

אזכיר עה"צ.

[5733]

Shalom u'Vrachah!

The same response as previously to the individual in question. As I have written before—peace is of great importance in general and especially between husband and wife, including in material matters. Even though there is no perfection in this world and therefore their relationship can always be improved, this depends on the good will of each party to do their part in this matter—even if it requires giving up on certain things—in order to strengthen peace.

May you have proper life and peace of mind; that is, may what was mentioned above be truly felt by both parties and may they behave accordingly. May Hashem grant them success.

If they try as above and still do not feel this way, they should present all their arguments and reasoning to a qualified rabbinic authority and follow his advice.

I will mention it at the Tziyun.


Summary

The Rebbe teaches that true marital peace requires effort and sometimes compromise from both partners. If harmony cannot be achieved alone, one should seek guidance from a competent rabbinic authority.

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