10343 —מניעת ביקורים בלחץ וכיבוד לוחות זמנים אישיים

B"H, 5 Adar, 5732.

With great astonishment I read your letter: I have said many times Shalom u'Vrachah! And firmly, that my friends should not try to have so-and-so visit me, and certainly should not pressure them to take from their time and do a favor for those pressing them (and a favor also for me) by visiting me. This is not a favor for those pressing nor for the activities (their hope that the visitor will donate more generously after visiting me). And since it is understood that I consider you among my friends—it is obvious that this instruction applies to you as well.

The reason for this instruction is clear: there is benefit in visiting me—when the visitor wants to visit on his own initiative. But when he agrees because several people (whom he sees as my emissaries) have come and urged him repeatedly, informing him they have telegraphed me about it, called me about it, spoken with my chief secretary about it, etc., so many times—that as a polite person he has no choice but to fulfill my request through these various emissaries, disrupting his own plans and visiting me just so they will stop bothering him and his father and his wife (who, as you wrote in your letter, would be forced to leave the good climate of Bermuda for the cold and ice of New York) to fulfill the requests and urgings of my emissaries and friends in Manchester.

Even if there were no explicit instruction like this—as a public activist you surely agree that such action is not desirable at all and does not add honor to Lubavitch in Manchester nor in New York. My hope and request is that as a public activist you will explain this to all those who started writing such things.

To your question about what to answer the aforementioned [Hubert]: The truth. And in my name (which I gave over to Yaffe to pass on to Hubert; with the preface—that those who spoke with him about visiting me did so on their own initiative without knowing my available times here this winter, and when they informed me—I asked my chief secretary to call him and inform Hubert): That I regret that although he came to New York for only a few hours they suggested he disrupt his plans and cause inconvenience (to himself and his wife) by visiting me late at night etc. And even though their intentions were good (due to their strong connection with me and their chassidic devotion), I rebuked them for taking advantage of his refined character and good relationship with Lubavitch—to make such a suggestion causing him trouble etc.—and asking him in my name—not to change at all his original plan, nor travel to Brooklyn late at night just for a short conversation with me (especially given the current weather conditions).

And when it happens that he will be in New York at a more convenient time with better weather, and they know about it ahead of time (to reserve more time), and he wants to visit—I will certainly be pleased to meet him personally and convey (and through him—to his father) thanks for their assistance with Lubavitch matters in England—support financially as well as encouragement etc.

This is final. And certainly no one will pressure him further on this matter. Also in the future—no one should pressure people to visit me (not him nor others nor his father).

Summary

The Rebbe teaches that visits should come from genuine desire rather than external pressure. Respecting personal schedules honors both the individual’s dignity and Lubavitch’s reputation; honesty should guide communication regarding such matters.