013 - הִלְכוֹת אִישׁוּת פֵּרֶק יג

Laws of Marriage, Chapter 13

1. How much clothing is a husband obligated to provide for his wife? Clothing worth fifty zuz each year, according to the currency of that time, which amounts to six and a quarter dinar of silver. He gives her new garments for the rainy season, and she wears their worn-out versions in the summer. The worn-out garments, which are the surplus of her clothing, belong to her, so that she may cover herself with them during her days of niddah. He must also give her a belt for her waist, a cap for her head, and shoes from festival to festival.

2. When does this apply? In those days and in Eretz Yisroel. But in other times and other places, the monetary value is not the main factor—there are places where clothing is much more expensive, or much cheaper. Rather, the main principle is that he is obligated to provide her with garments suitable for the rainy season and for the summer, at least what any woman who is a homeowner in that country would wear.

3. Included in the clothing he must provide her are household utensils and a dwelling in which she lives. What are household utensils? A bed with bedding, and a mat or rug to sit on; and eating and drinking utensils, such as a pot, a bowl, a cup, a flask, and similar items. The dwelling he rents for her must be a house of four cubits by four cubits, and there should be a courtyard outside it for her use, and it must have a bathroom outside of it.

4. Likewise, he is obligated to provide her with her ornaments, such as colored garments to wrap around her head and forehead, and eye makeup, a comb, and similar items, so that she will not become unattractive to him.

5. When does this apply? For the poorest in Israel. But for a wealthy man, everything is according to his wealth—even if he is expected to buy her silk and embroidered garments and gold utensils, he is compelled to do so and must provide them. Likewise, the dwelling, the ornaments, and the household utensils—all are according to his wealth. If he cannot afford to provide her even as much as the poorest in Israel, he is compelled to divorce her, and the kesubah remains a debt upon him until he becomes wealthy.

6. And not only for his wife, but also for his young sons and daughters under the age of six—he is obligated to provide them with sufficient clothing, utensils, and a dwelling to live in. He does not provide for them according to his wealth, but only according to their needs. This is the rule: anyone for whom he is obligated to provide sustenance, whether during his lifetime or after his death, is also entitled to clothing, household utensils, and a dwelling. And whenever Beis Din sells property for someone's sustenance, they also sell for his clothing, household utensils, and dwelling.

7. If a woman’s husband went away and Beis Din allotted her sustenance, clothing, household utensils, and rent for a dwelling, they do not allot her ornaments, since she does not have a husband to adorn herself for. But if her husband became insane or lost the ability to speak, they do allot her ornaments. The law regarding disputes between a husband and wife about clothing, utensils, and rent for the house is the same as for sustenance: if he says, "I gave," and she says, "You did not give," the law is the same for all these matters.

8. If a man forbids his wife by vow from adorning herself with any type of ornament, for poor women, he may maintain the marriage for one year; after that, he must either annul his vow or divorce her and pay the kesubah. For wealthy women, he may maintain the marriage for thirty days; after that, he must either annul his vow or divorce her and pay the kesubah.

9. If he forbade her from going to the bathhouse, in cities, he may maintain the marriage for one week; in villages, for two weeks. If he forbade her from wearing shoes, in villages, for three days; in cities, from one day to the next. Beyond this, he must either annul his vow or divorce her and pay the kesubah.

Laws of Marriage, Chapter 13

10. If a husband imposes a vow upon his wife that she should not borrow or lend household utensils—which is the common practice among neighbors, such as a sieve, a sifter, a mill, an oven, and similar items—he must annul his vow, or else divorce her and give her the kesubah. This is because he causes her to acquire a bad reputation among her neighbors. Similarly, if she vows not to borrow or lend a sieve, sifter, mill, oven, or similar items, or not to weave fine garments for her son in a place where it is customary to weave such garments for sons, she must be divorced without a kesubah, because she causes him to acquire a bad reputation among his neighbors, as if he were stingy.

11. In places where it is not customary for a woman to go out into the marketplace with only a cap on her head, but rather she must have a cloak that covers her entire body like a tallis, the husband must provide her, as part of her clothing, with a cloak of the least expensive type among all cloaks. If he is wealthy, he must provide according to his means, so that she may go out in it to a house of mourning or to a house of celebration. For every woman has the right to go and visit her father’s house, and to a house of mourning and a house of celebration, to perform acts of kindness for her friends and relatives, so that they will come to her as well. She is not in prison, that she should neither go out nor have visitors. However, it is unbecoming for a woman to be constantly going out, sometimes in the street, sometimes in the squares; and the husband may prevent his wife from doing so, and not allow her to go out except perhaps once a month or twice a month, as needed. For the beauty of a woman is to remain in the corner of her house, as it is written: “All the glory of the king’s daughter is within” (Tehillim 45:14).

12. If a husband imposes a vow upon his wife that she should not go to her father’s house, when her parents are in the same city, he is given one month’s time; after two months, he must divorce her and give her the kesubah. If her parents are in another city, he is given one festival; after two festivals, he must divorce her and give her the kesubah.

13. If a husband imposes a vow upon his wife that she should not go to a house of mourning or to a house of celebration, he must either annul his vow or divorce her and give her the kesubah, for this is like locking her in prison and shutting the door before her. However, if he claims that there are immoral people in that house of mourning or celebration, and it is established that such people are indeed there, he is listened to.

14. If a man says to his wife, “I do not want your father, mother, brother, or sisters to come to my house,” he is listened to, and she may go to them when something occurs to them; and she may go to her father’s house once a month and on every festival. But they may not enter her home unless something significant occurs to her, such as illness or childbirth, for a person is not compelled to allow others into his domain. Similarly, if she says, “I do not want your mother or father to come to me, and I will not live with them in the same courtyard, because they harm me and cause me distress,” she is listened to, for a person is not compelled to have others live with him in his domain.

15. If a man says, “I will not live in this dwelling, because there are wicked people, immoral people, or non-Jews in my neighborhood, and I am afraid of them,” he is listened to, even if it has not been established that they are indeed immoral, for the Sages commanded: “Distance yourself from a bad neighbor.” Even if the dwelling belongs to her, he removes her from it and lives among upright people. Similarly, if she says the same, even if he says, “I am not particular about them,” she is listened to, because she says, “I do not want to acquire a bad reputation among these neighbors.”

16. The entire settled land is divided into regions, such as the land of Canaan, the land of Egypt, the land of Teiman, the land of Cush, the land of Shinar, and similar places; and each land is divided into provinces and villages. The cities of Eretz Yisroel, regarding marriage, were divided into three regions: Yehudah, Ever HaYarden, and the Galil.

Laws of Marriage, Chapter 13

17. If a man was living in one country and married a woman in another country, he may compel her to leave with him to his country, or else she must leave without receiving her kesubah, for it was on this condition that he married her, even if this was not explicitly stated. However, if a man marries a woman in a country where he himself is from, he cannot force her to move to another country. But he may move her from one province to another, or from one village to another within the same country. He may not, however, move her from a province to a village or from a village to a province, because there are matters for which living in a province is preferable, and matters for which living in a village is preferable.

18. And when he moves her from one province to another, or from one village to another within the same country, he may not move her from a pleasant place to an unpleasant place, nor from an unpleasant place to a pleasant place, because she would need to care for herself and examine herself more carefully in a pleasant place so that she not be regarded there as light-minded or unattractive. Similarly, he may not move her from a place where most of the inhabitants are Jews to a place where most are non-Jews. However, in all cases, one may move from a place where most are non-Jews to a place where most are Jews.

19. In what cases do these statements apply? When moving from one place outside of Eretz Yisroel to another, or from one place in Eretz Yisroel to another. But from outside of Eretz Yisroel to Eretz Yisroel, one may compel the other to go up, even from a pleasant place to an unpleasant place, and even from a place where most are Jews to a place where most are non-Jews—one goes up. But one may not move from Eretz Yisroel to outside of Eretz Yisroel, even from an unpleasant place where most are non-Jews to a pleasant place where most are Jews.

20. If the man says he wants to go up to Eretz Yisroel and she does not want to, she leaves without her kesubah. If she says she wants to go up and he does not want to, he must divorce her and give her the kesubah. The same law applies to any place in Eretz Yisroel with respect to Yerushalayim: everyone may be compelled to go up to Eretz Yisroel, but not to leave it; and everyone may be compelled to go up to Yerushalayim, but not to leave it.