012 - הִלְכוֹת אִישׁוּת פֵּרֶק יב

Laws of Marriage, Chapter 12

1. When a man marries a woman—whether she is a virgin or previously married, whether she is an adult or a minor, whether she is a daughter of Israel, a convert, or a freed maidservant—he becomes obligated to her in ten matters, and he acquires rights in four matters.

2. The ten obligations: three of them are from the Torah, and they are: "her sustenance, her clothing, and her marital relations" (Shemos 21:10). "Her sustenance" refers to her food; "her clothing" is as its plain meaning; "her marital relations" means to be intimate with her in the manner of all people. The other seven are from the words of the Sages, and all of them are conditions established by Beis Din. One of them is the principal amount of the kesubah; the rest are called the conditions of the kesubah, and they are: to heal her if she becomes ill, to redeem her if she is taken captive, to bury her when she dies, that she should be supported from his property and live in his house after his death for as long as she remains a widow, that her daughters from him should be supported after his death until they become betrothed, and that her male children from him should inherit her kesubah in addition to their share in the inheritance together with their brothers from another wife.

3. The four rights that he acquires are all from the words of the Sages, and they are: that her handiwork belongs to him, that anything she finds belongs to him, that he may eat the produce of all her property during her lifetime, and if she dies during his lifetime, he inherits her; and he takes precedence over all others in the inheritance.

4. Furthermore, the Sages instituted that the woman's handiwork is in exchange for her sustenance, her redemption is in exchange for his right to eat the produce of her property, and her burial is in exchange for his inheritance of her kesubah. Therefore, if the woman says, "I will not be supported and I will not do work," we listen to her and do not compel her; but if the husband says, "I will not support you and I will not take anything from your handiwork," we do not listen to him, lest her handiwork not suffice for her sustenance. For this reason, sustenance is considered one of the conditions of the kesubah.

5. All these matters—even if they were not written in the kesubah document, and even if no kesubah was written at all, but he simply married her—once he has married her, the husband acquires the four rights that are his, and the woman acquires the ten obligations that are hers, and they do not need to be specified.

6. If the husband stipulated that he would not be obligated in one of the matters for which he is obligated, or if the woman stipulated that the husband would not acquire one of the matters to which he is entitled—the condition is valid, except for three matters, regarding which a condition is not effective, and anyone who makes a condition about them, his condition is void. These are: her marital relations, the principal amount of her kesubah, and her inheritance.

7. How so? If he stipulated with the woman that she would have no claim to marital relations, his condition is void and he is obligated in her marital relations, for he has made a condition contrary to what is written in the Torah, and this is not a monetary condition.

8. If he stipulated with her to reduce the principal amount of the kesubah, or if he wrote for her two hundred or one hundred as the principal of the kesubah, and she wrote to him that she had received such-and-such from it, but she had not actually received it—his condition is void, for anyone who reduces the kesubah of a virgin below two hundred, or of a widow below one hundred, this is considered licentious relations.

9. If she stipulated with him, after he married her, that he would not inherit her—her condition is void, even though the husband's inheritance is from the words of the Sages. They strengthened their words as those of the Torah, and any condition regarding inheritance is void, even though it is monetary, as it is stated regarding it, "as a statute of judgment" (Bamidbar 27:11). In all other matters, the condition is valid—for example, if he stipulated with her that she would not have sustenance or clothing, on condition that he would not eat the produce of her property; and any similar case, his condition is valid.

How Much Support Is Allotted to a Wife

10. How much support is allotted to a wife? She is allotted bread sufficient for two meals each day, a standard meal as is customary for an average person in that city, who is neither ill nor gluttonous. She is given the type of food customary among the people of that city—if they eat wheat, then wheat; if barley, then barley; likewise, rice or millet, or any other types that are customary. She is also allotted a side dish to eat with the bread, such as legumes or vegetables and the like; oil for eating, oil for lighting the lamp, and fruit. She is given a small amount of wine to drink, if it is the custom in that place for women to drink wine. She is allotted three meals on Shabbos, and meat or fish according to the local custom. Each Shabbos, she is given a ma'ah of silver for her needs, such as laundry or bathing, and similar necessities.

11. In what case are these words said? In regard to the poorest of the Jewish people. But if he is wealthy, everything is according to his wealth—even if his means are such that he ought to provide her with several meat dishes each day, he is compelled and required to allot her support according to his means. If he is extremely poor and cannot even provide her with the bread she needs, he is compelled to divorce her, and her kesubah remains a debt upon him until he acquires the means to pay.

12. If a husband wishes to provide his wife with her rightful support, and she will eat and drink by herself and he will eat and drink by himself, he is permitted to do so—provided that he eats with her from Shabbos night to Shabbos night.

13. If a woman was allotted support and she had leftovers, the surplus belongs to the husband. If her husband is a Kohen, he does not give her all her support from terumah, because it is a great burden for her to guard it from becoming impure so she can eat it in purity; rather, he gives her half from non-sacred food and half from terumah.

14. Just as a man is obligated to support his wife, so too he is obligated to support his sons and daughters while they are minors, until they reach six years of age. From then on, he feeds them until they grow up, by ordinance of the Sages; and if he does not wish to do so, we rebuke him, shame him, and pressure him. If he still refuses, we announce publicly that so-and-so is cruel and does not wish to support his children, and he is worse than an impure bird, which feeds its young. However, we do not compel him to support them after six years of age.

15. In what case are these words said? In the case of a man who is not known, and it is not known whether he is fit to give charity or not. But if he is known to have sufficient means to give charity that would suffice for them, we extract it from him against his will as charity, and support them until they grow up.

16. If someone traveled to another country and his wife came to Beis Din to claim support, for the first three months from the day of his departure, support is not allotted to her, for it is presumed that no man leaves his house empty-handed. After that, support is allotted to her; and if he has property, Beis Din seizes his property and sells it for her support. Her earnings are not calculated against her until her husband returns; if he finds that she has produced earnings, they belong to him.

17. Similarly, if she did not go to Beis Din but sold property herself for her support, her sale is valid; she does not require public announcement or an oath—until her husband returns and makes a claim, or until she comes to collect her kesubah after his death, at which point we investigate to ensure she sold only for the support she needed.

18. Just as Beis Din sells property for the support of a wife whose husband has gone away, so too they sell property for the support of his sons and daughters who are six years old or younger. But for those older than six, they are not supported from his property in his absence, even if he is known to be wealthy. Likewise, if someone became insane, Beis Din seizes his property and sells it, and supports his wife and his sons and daughters who are six years old or younger, and provides for them.

18. Some of the Geonim ruled that we do not grant sustenance to a woman whose husband went away or died until she produces her kesubah document; and if she does not produce her kesubah, she does not receive sustenance—because perhaps she already took her kesubah from her husband, or she forgave her kesubah to him, in which case she does not receive sustenance, as will be explained. Others ruled that we do grant her sustenance on the presumption that she has not taken it and has not forgiven it, and we do not require her to bring her kesubah. This is the view to which I incline, in the case where her husband went away, since she is entitled to sustenance from the Torah. But if her husband died—she does not receive sustenance until she brings her kesubah, because she receives sustenance by enactment of the Sages; and furthermore, because she is sustained from the property of the heirs, and we always accept the heirs’ claim.

19. If her husband went away, and she borrowed and ate—when he returns, he is obligated to repay. If someone, on his own initiative, supported her from his own funds—if the husband returns, he is not obligated to repay him, and the supporter has lost his money, because the husband did not instruct him to support her, and she did not borrow from him.

20. If the husband said to his wife at the time he left, “Take your earnings for your sustenance”—she does not receive sustenance, for if she did not agree to this, and did not accept it, she should have demanded from him, or told him, “My earnings are not sufficient for me.”

21. If she brought a claim to Beis Din and they ruled that she should receive sustenance, and Beis Din sold property and gave her, or she herself sold, and then the husband returned and claimed, “I left her sustenance”—she must take an oath with a sacred object that he did not leave her sustenance. If she did not claim and did not sell, but waited until he returned, and he says, “I left her sustenance,” and she says, “You did not leave, but I borrowed from this one and was supported”—he takes a heses oath that he did leave her sustenance, and is exempt; and the debt remains upon her.

22. If she sold movable property and said, “I sold for sustenance,” and he claims, “I left her sustenance”—she takes a heses oath that he did not leave her sustenance. If she did not claim, did not borrow, and did not sell, but instead exerted herself day and night, worked and ate—she receives nothing.

23. If a man forbids his wife from benefiting from him, whether he specified a certain time or did not specify but made a general vow—we wait for him thirty days: if the days of his vow are completed, or if they are not completed but he annulled his vow, all is well; but if not—he must divorce her and give her the kesubah. During those thirty days, she should work and eat; and one of his friends should provide her with what she needs beyond her earnings, if her earnings are not sufficient for everything.

24. If a man forbids his wife from tasting any kind of fruit—we wait for him thirty days; after that, he must divorce her and give her the kesubah. Even if he forbade her from tasting bad food, or even if he forbade her from a type she has never eaten in her life—he must divorce her after thirty days and give her the kesubah. If she herself vowed not to eat any kind of fruit, and he upheld her vow, or if she vowed to be a nazirah and he did not annul it—if he wishes that she remain with him and not eat fruit or be a nazirah, she may remain; but if he says, “I do not want a wife who makes vows”—he must divorce her and give her the kesubah, since he could have annulled it and he chose to uphold it of his own will.