7074 —קדיש ויארצייט לתינוק, מנהגים ומקורות הלכתיים

B"H, 14 Iyar, 5720.

Brooklyn.

Haraha"g vavac"h iy"a nu"n oseik b'tzt"z Moreinu HaRav Shmuel Yalov

Shalom u'Vrachah!

In response to your letter from the 9th of Iyar regarding Kaddish and Yahrzeit for a child—by his father, etc.—and it appears from your wording that the father's parents do not object to this, etc. Also to note, there is no place for discussion about infringing on the rights of other mourners.* And you already referenced Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah siman 376; see there in Pitchei Teshuvah se'if katan 3 regarding the law if the deceased was less than twenty years old. The matter is explained even more in Sdei Chemed, Asifat Dinim, Avelut section 151, 162, and 212; see also Shulchan Aruch there siman 344 se'if 4. From all these sources it appears—the benefit of reciting Kaddish (and also Yahrzeit) applies after thirty days have passed; see Shach there.

As for those who wish to distinguish between Kaddish after Tziduk HaDin versus regular Kaddish which is for elevating the soul: perhaps before age thirteen, since he is not obligated in mitzvot, it should not be said. This has already been refuted based on what is written in the books cited in Sdei Chemed above. And in Sefer Kol Bo on mourning by Rabbi Grunwald. However, in Sefer Yalkut Dat VeDin (by Rabbi David Asaf, Haifa, 1945), a letter from Haraha"g etc. Ratzaf Frank is printed stating that before age thirteen one does not observe either Yahrzeit or Kaddish. But he brings no proof for his words; whereas in the aforementioned books the opposite seems correct.

The well-known question on this matter is brought in Noda B'Yehuda Mahadura Tinyana Yoreh Deah siman 8 regarding what is written in Sanhedrin 104a; but it is brought elsewhere that it is resolved in Tosafot Sotah 10b s.v. Da'Aytei—that prayer saves. This topic is explained at length in the will of our Rebbe Maharash (printed in Kuntras Chinuch L'Na'ar p.19—see there thoroughly). From there it also appears that there is an advantage for a father over other relatives—and this suffices.

Regarding your question at the end of your letter about calculating the day of Yahrzeit—from the day of death or from burial—the following directive of my father-in-law the Rebbe zatzal nbgm zya'a is cited: Yahrzeit is observed on the day of death even in the first year and even when burial occurs much later than death (printed in Hayom Yom, 13 Shevat).

May it be G‑d's will that very soon we merit fulfillment of the prophecy: "And He will turn the heart of fathers to children and the heart of children to their fathers," "He will swallow up death forever," "And those who dwell in dust will awaken and sing." See wondrous hints in the phrase "He will swallow up death forever," specifically as explained by Dan Yadin M.G.—on Sefer Karnayim—by Rabbi Shimon of Ostropoli, which relates to Yonah ben Amitai who was known to have received ruach hakodesh at Simchat Beit HaShoeva. May we soon merit its fulfillment—with the building of the Third Temple with the coming of our righteous Moshiach.

With honor and blessing for good news.

Summary

The Rebbe clarifies that saying Kaddish and observing Yahrzeit for a child under thirteen has halachic support according to many sources and should be done even if burial occurs after death. The importance of prayer and tradition are emphasized throughout.