010 - הִלְכוֹת אִישׁוּת פֵּרֶק י

Laws of Marriage, Chapter 10

1. A betrothed woman is forbidden to her husband by Rabbinic decree as long as she is in her father's house. If a man has relations with his betrothed in his father-in-law's house, he is punished with lashes for rebellious conduct. Even if he betrothed her through intercourse, it is forbidden for him to have relations with her a second time in her father's house until he brings her into his own home, secludes himself with her, and designates her for himself. This seclusion is called "entering the chuppah," and it is what is called "marriage" in all places. If a man has relations with his betrothed for the sake of marriage after he has betrothed her, once he has had relations with her, he acquires her, and she becomes married and is his wife in every respect.

2. Once the betrothed woman has entered the chuppah, she is permitted to him at any time he wishes, and she is his full wife in every respect. From the time she enters the chuppah, she is called "married," even if she has not yet had relations; provided she is fit for relations. But if she was a niddah, even if she entered the chuppah and was secluded with him, the marriage is not complete, and she is still considered betrothed.

3. The blessing of the bridegroom must be recited in the groom's house before the marriage. There are six blessings, and they are as follows: "Blessed are You, G‑d, our L‑rd, King of the universe, Who created everything for His glory." "Blessed are You, G‑d, our L‑rd, King of the universe, Who forms man." "Blessed are You, G‑d, our L‑rd, King of the universe, Who created man in His image, in the image of the likeness of His form, and established for him from himself an everlasting structure; blessed are You, G‑d, Who forms man." "May the barren one rejoice and exult as her children are gathered to her in joy; blessed are You, G‑d, Who gladdens Zion with her children." "Grant perfect joy to these loving friends, as You gladdened Your creation in the Garden of Eden of old; blessed are You, G‑d, Who gladdens His people and builds Jerusalem." "Blessed are You, G‑d, our L‑rd, King of the universe, Who created joy and gladness, groom and bride, rejoicing, song, pleasure, delight, love, brotherhood, peace, and companionship. Soon, G‑d our L‑rd, let there be heard in the cities of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the voice of a groom and the voice of a bride, the jubilant voices of bridegrooms from their canopies and of youths from their feasts; blessed are You, G‑d, Who gladdens the groom with the bride."

4. If there is wine present, a cup of wine is brought, and the blessing over the wine is recited first, and then all the blessings are arranged over the cup. Thus, seven blessings are recited. In some places, it is customary to bring a myrtle branch with the wine, and the blessing over the myrtle is recited after the wine, and then the six blessings are recited.

5. The blessing of the bridegroom is only recited in the presence of ten adult free men, and the groom is counted among the ten.

6. If a man betroths a woman and recites the blessing of the bridegroom, but has not yet secluded himself with her in his house, she is still considered betrothed, for the blessing of the bridegroom does not effect the marriage; only entering the chuppah does. If he betrothed her and brought her into the chuppah but did not recite the blessing of the bridegroom, she is fully married, and the blessing is recited later, even after several days. A niddah should not be married until she becomes pure, and the blessing of the bridegroom is not recited for her until she becomes pure. If he transgressed and married her and recited the blessing, he does not repeat the blessing.

7. The kesubah must be written before entering the chuppah, and only afterwards is he permitted to his wife. The groom pays the scribe's fee. How much is written for her? If she is a virgin, not less than two hundred dinar are written for her; if she is previously married, not less than one hundred dinar. This is called the principal of the kesubah. If he wishes to add to it, even a golden loaf, he may add. The law of the addition and the law of the principal are the same for most matters; therefore, whenever "kesubah" is mentioned without qualification, it refers to both the principal and the addition together. The Sages instituted the kesubah for a woman so that she would not be easily divorced in his eyes.

Laws of Marriage, Chapter 10

8. These dinarim were not established from pure silver, but from the coinage that existed in those days, which was made of seven parts copper and one part silver, so that in a sela there would be half a zuz of silver. Thus, the two hundred dinarim for a virgin amount to twenty-five dinarim of silver, and the one hundred for a non-virgin amount to twelve and a half dinarim of silver. The weight of each dinar is ninety-six barley grains, as we explained at the beginning of Eruvin. The dinar is what is called a zuz everywhere, whether it was made of pure silver or of the coinage of those days.

9. One may not give a virgin less than two hundred, nor a non-virgin less than one hundred; and anyone who gives less, his intercourse is considered promiscuous. This applies whether he writes the kesubah in a document, or whether witnesses testify and he makes a kinyan obligating himself to her for one hundred or two hundred—this is permitted. Similarly, if he gives her movable property equal to her kesubah, it is permitted for him to have intercourse, until they have time to write it.

10. If a man marries a woman and does not write her a kesubah, or if he wrote it and the kesubah document was lost, or if she forgave her kesubah to her husband, or sold it to him, he must write her a principal kesubah again if he wishes to remain married to her, for it is forbidden for a man to remain with his wife even for one hour without a kesubah. However, if she sold her kesubah to others for benefit, he does not need to write her another kesubah, for the Sages instituted the kesubah only so that it would not be easy in his eyes to divorce her; and if he divorces her, he pays the kesubah to the purchaser, just as he would have paid her if she had not sold it.

11. If a man betroths a woman and writes her a kesubah, but she has not yet entered the chuppah, she is still a betrothed woman and not married, for the kesubah does not effect marriage. If he dies or divorces her, she collects the principal of her kesubah from free assets, but she does not collect any additional amount, since she did not enter the chuppah. But if he betrothed her and did not write a kesubah, and he died or divorced her while she was still betrothed, she receives nothing, not even the principal, for the Sages did not institute the principal kesubah for her until she marries or until he writes it. If a man betroths his daughter and the one who betrothed her writes her a kesubah, and he dies or divorces her while she is a na’arah, her kesubah belongs to her father, as we have explained.

12. Similarly, the Sages instituted that anyone who marries a virgin should rejoice with her for seven days—he should not engage in his work, nor conduct business in the marketplace, but rather eat, drink, and rejoice, whether he is a bachelor or a widower. If she is a non-virgin, not less than three days: for it is a rabbinic enactment for the daughters of Israel that one should rejoice with a virgin for seven days and with a non-virgin for three days, whether he is a bachelor or a widower.

13. A man may marry many women at once, on the same day, and recite the wedding blessing for all of them together. However, for the celebration, he must rejoice with each one the appropriate amount—if she is a virgin, seven days; if a non-virgin, three days. One does not mix one celebration with another.

14. A man is permitted to marry on any weekday, even on Tishah B’Av, whether by day or by night. However, one does not marry women on the eve of Shabbos or on Sunday, as a decree lest he come to desecrate Shabbos in preparing the meal, since the groom is preoccupied with his feast; and needless to say, it is forbidden to marry on Shabbos. Even during Chol HaMoed, one does not marry, as we have explained, because one does not mix one celebration with another, as it says, “Complete the week of this one, and we will give you this one also” (Bereishis 29:27). On all other days, one may marry on any day he wishes, provided he prepares the wedding feast three days before the day of the wedding.

Laws of Marriage, Chapter 10

15. In a place where the Beis Din sits only on Mondays and Thursdays, a virgin is married on Wednesday—so that if he has a claim regarding her virginity, he can rise early and go to Beis Din. And it is the custom of the sages that one who marries a previously married woman should marry her on Thursday, so that he will rejoice with her on Thursday, Friday, and Shabbos, and then go to his work on Sunday.

16. If one betroths his minor daughter, and the husband requests to marry her, either she or her father can delay, so that she will not be married until she grows up and becomes a young woman. But if they wish and he marries her, he may do so; however, it is not proper to act in this way.

17. If he betrothed her and waited several years and then requested to marry her, and she is now a young woman, she is given twelve months from the time of the request to provide for herself and to prepare what she needs for him, and after that she may marry. If he requested after she had become an adult, she is given twelve months from the day she became an adult; and likewise, if he betrothed her on the day she became an adult, she is given twelve months from the day of betrothal, which is the day she became an adult.

18. If he betrothed her after she had become an adult—if twelve months passed during her adulthood and only then was she betrothed—she is given only thirty days from the day he requested her; and likewise, one who betroths a previously married woman is given thirty days from the day of the request.

19. Just as a woman is given time from when the husband requests her, to provide for herself and then marry, so too a man is given time to provide for himself from when the woman requests him. And how much time is given to him? The same as is given to her—if twelve months, then twelve months; if thirty days, then thirty days.

20. If the time given to the man arrived and he did not marry her, he becomes obligated to provide her sustenance, even though he has not yet brought her into his home. But if the time arrived on Sunday or on Friday, he does not provide her sustenance for that day, because he is unable to marry her then. Likewise, if he became ill, or she became ill, or she began her niddah period when the time arrived, he does not provide her sustenance, for she is not fit to be married until she becomes pure or recovers; and likewise, he is not able to marry a woman until he recovers.