009 - הִלְכוֹת אִישׁוּת פֵּרֶק ט

Laws of Marriage, Chapter 9

1. If a man betroths two women at once, both of whom it is forbidden for him to marry because of a forbidden relationship, neither of them is betrothed. How so? For example, if he betroths a woman and her daughter, or two sisters at once, neither of them is betrothed.

2. If he betroths many women at once and says, "All of you are betrothed to me," and among them are two sisters, or a woman and her daughter, or similar cases, none of them is betrothed. But if he says to them, "Whoever among you is eligible for relations is betrothed to me," then all of them are betrothed except for the sisters, or the woman and her daughter, or similar cases. Likewise, if he says to them, "All of you are betrothed to me," and among them is a maidservant, or a non-Jewish woman, or a woman with whom betrothal does not take effect, such as a married woman, or his daughter, or his sister, or similar cases, none of them is betrothed. But if he says, "Whoever among you is eligible for relations is betrothed to me," then all of them are betrothed to him except for the woman with whom betrothal does not take effect.

3. If he says to two sisters, "One of you is betrothed to me with this," and gives them a perutah, or one accepts it on behalf of the other, or if he says to a father, "One of your daughters is betrothed to me," and the father accepts the betrothal, all of them require a get from him. He is forbidden to have relations with any of them, because the betrothal takes effect with them, even though it is not possible to have relations with any of them.

4. If someone appoints an agent to betroth a certain woman for him, and the agent goes to betroth her, but the sender himself betroths her mother, or her daughter, or her sister, and it is not known which of them was betrothed first, both require a get and are forbidden to him. Similarly, if a woman appoints an agent to betroth her, and she herself goes and betroths herself to another, and it is not known which came first, both men must give her a get; and if they wish, one gives a get and the other marries her.

5. In what case does this apply? When they are unrelated. But if the agent betroths her to the father and she herself betroths herself to the son, or to his brother, or similar cases, both must give her a get, and she is forbidden to both of them.

6. If a man says to his agent, "Go and betroth a woman for me," and the agent dies, and it is not known whether he betrothed a woman for him or not, he is presumed to have betrothed, for the presumption is that an agent fulfills his mission. And since it is not known which woman was betrothed for him, he is forbidden to marry any woman who has relatives who are forbidden to him, such as a woman who has a daughter, or a mother, or a sister, or similar cases. For if you say he should marry this one, perhaps the agent betrothed her mother, or her sister, or her daughter. But he is permitted to marry a woman who does not have such relatives. If she had a relative, such as a sister or mother or similar, and that relative was a married woman at the time the agent was appointed, even if she was divorced before the agent died, he is permitted to marry her; we do not say perhaps the agent betrothed her relative after she was divorced, because she was not eligible at the time the agent was appointed, and a person only appoints an agent to betroth for him a woman whom he could himself betroth at the time of the agency.

7. If a man had five sons, and all of them appointed their father as an agent to betroth a woman for them, and the father said to a man who had five daughters, "One of your daughters is betrothed to one of my sons," and the father accepted the betrothal, each of the daughters requires five gittin from all the brothers, since all of them authorized the father to betroth for them. If one of them died, each daughter requires four gittin and chalitzah from one of them.

8. If a father had a minor daughter or a na'arah who is under his authority, and an adult daughter, and the adult daughter gave him permission to betroth her, and he betrothed "his daughter" without specifying to whom, the adult daughter is not included unless he specifies and says, "My adult daughter, who authorized me as an agent." Therefore, the adult daughter is not betrothed, and her sister is betrothed.

Laws of Marriage, Chapter 9

9. If a man has two sets of daughters from two wives, and all of them are under his authority, and he betroths one of them, and at the time of the betrothal he says to the groom, "I have betrothed to you my eldest daughter"—even though it could be said that perhaps he meant the eldest of the elder daughters, or the eldest of the younger daughters, or the younger of the elder daughters who is older than the eldest of the younger daughters—all of them are permitted except for the eldest of the elder daughters; she alone is betrothed. Similarly, if he betroths his youngest daughter—even though it could be said that perhaps he meant the youngest of the younger daughters, or the youngest of the elder daughters, or the elder of the younger daughters who is younger than the youngest of the elder daughters—all of them are permitted except for the youngest of the younger daughters; she alone is betrothed. For the term "my eldest daughter" implies that there is none among his daughters older than her, and "youngest" implies that there is none among them younger than her.

10. The father is believed to say about his daughter, before she becomes of age, that she is betrothed, and he thereby prohibits her to everyone.

11. If a father says, "I have betrothed my daughter, but I do not know to whom I betrothed her"—she is forbidden forever to all men, until the father says, "It has become known to me that I betrothed her to so-and-so"; and then she will require a get from him alone, even if he found out after she had become of age.

12. If the father says, "I do not know to whom I betrothed her," and someone comes and says, "I am the one to whom you betrothed her"—he is believed even to marry her, and does not require a new betrothal.

13. If two people come, one saying, "I betrothed her," and the other saying, "I betrothed her"—both must give her a get; and if they wish, one may write a get and the other may marry her. If one of them married her, and afterwards another came and said, "I am the one to whom you betrothed her"—he is not believed, and does not prohibit her to her husband.

14. If a woman says, "I was betrothed, but I do not know to whom I was betrothed," and someone comes and says, "I am the one who betrothed you"—he is believed to give her a get, and she is permitted to all men except for him; but he is not believed to marry her, lest his desire overpowers him and she becomes accustomed to him in order to permit herself.

15. If a man says to a woman, "I betrothed you," and she says, "You did not betroth me"—he is forbidden to her relatives, and she is permitted to his relatives. If she says, "You betrothed me," and he says, "I did not betroth you"—he is permitted to her relatives, and she is forbidden to his relatives. If he says, "I betrothed you," and she says, "You only betrothed my daughter"—he is forbidden to the relatives of the elder daughter, and the elder daughter is permitted to his relatives; and he is permitted to the relatives of the daughter, and the daughter is permitted to his relatives.

16. If he says, "I betrothed your daughter," and she says, "You only betrothed me"—he is forbidden to the relatives of the daughter, and the daughter is permitted to his relatives; and he is permitted to the relatives of the mother, and the mother is forbidden to his relatives.

17. All those who claim betrothal, it is when the claimant asserts that the betrothal took place in the presence of witnesses, who then went to another country or died; but if they admit that the betrothal was without witnesses—there is no betrothal, as we have explained.

18. In every case where a woman says to a man, "You betrothed me," and he says, "I did not betroth you"—we request of him that he write her a get in order to permit her to marry others, since he loses nothing by this; and if he gave her a get of his own accord, we compel him to give her the kesubah.

19. If a man appoints an agent to betroth a woman for him, and the agent goes and betroths her for himself—she is betrothed to the agent; and it is forbidden to do so. Anyone who does this or anything similar in other matters of purchase and sale is called a wicked person.

20. If a man appoints an agent to betroth a woman for him, and the agent goes and betroths her, and the agent says, "I betrothed her for myself," and the woman says, "I was betrothed to the first one who sent you"—if the agent did not act in the presence of witnesses, the agent is forbidden to her relatives, and she is permitted to his relatives; and the woman is forbidden to the relatives of the sender, and the sender is permitted to her relatives. But if the agent is established by witnesses, she is betrothed to the first one.

Laws of Marriage, Chapter 9

19. If a woman says, "I do not know to whom I was betrothed, whether to the one who sent the agent or to his agent"—if the agent was not established by witnesses, she is betrothed to the second. But if it was established that he is his agent, both must give her a get. If they wish, one gives a get and the other marries her.

20. If a woman appointed an agent to betroth her, and he went and betrothed her, and while he was on his way she revoked the agency and changed her mind, and it is not known whether she changed her mind before the betrothal was received or after the betrothal—she is betrothed out of doubt. The same applies if a man appointed an agent and then changed his mind.

21. If a man betroths one of five women and does not know which one he betrothed, and each one says, "He betrothed me"—he is forbidden to marry the relatives of all of them. He must give a get to each one, and leaves one kesubah among them and withdraws. If he betrothed by intercourse, the Sages penalized him that he must give a kesubah to each one. It is known that the kesubah he wrote for one of them was lost, and each one says, "I am the one you betrothed and you wrote the kesubah for me, and my kesubah was lost."

22. If a woman has a rumor about her that she is betrothed to a certain man, she is presumed to be betrothed, even though there is no clear proof. Any rumor that was not established in Beis Din is not taken into account. What is the type of rumor that establishes her as betrothed? For example, two people come and testify that they saw candles burning, beds arranged, people coming and going, and women rejoicing with her and saying, "So-and-so was betrothed today, so-and-so was betrothed today." If they heard them say, "So-and-so will be betrothed today," we do not take it into account, for perhaps they gathered for a betrothal but she was not betrothed—until they hear that she was actually betrothed. Similarly, if two people come and say, "We saw something like an engagement celebration and heard an announcement, and we heard from so-and-so who heard from so-and-so that so-and-so was betrothed in the presence of so-and-so and so-and-so, and the witnesses went to another country or died"—this is a rumor that establishes her as betrothed.

23. In what case are these words said? When there was no excuse (amatla) given. But if there was an excuse, and they heard the excuse and heard that she was betrothed—she is not established as betrothed. What is an example of an excuse? "So-and-so was betrothed on condition," or "it was a doubtful betrothal"—she is not established as betrothed. Rather, they ask her, and rely on her words, since there is neither clear proof nor a strong rumor.

24. If a rumor spread that she was betrothed to a certain man, and after some days they gave an excuse—if the matter is shown to Beis Din to be true, they rely on the excuse and she is not established as betrothed. But if not—since the excuse was not heard at the time the betrothal was heard, we do not take the excuse into account.

25. There was an incident with a woman about whom a rumor spread that she was betrothed to the son of a certain man, and after some time they asked his father and he said, "She was betrothed to him on condition, and the condition was not fulfilled." The Sages did not rely on his words, but said, "She is doubtfully betrothed," as if there were no excuse.

26. If a rumor spread that she was betrothed to a certain man, and another man came and betrothed her in our presence—we investigate the first betrothal, which is based on a rumor. If witnesses come with clear proof that she is betrothed to the first, the second betrothal is nothing. If not—the first, whose betrothal is by rumor, divorces her, and the second, whose betrothal is definite, marries her. If the second divorces her, the first may not marry her, lest people say he remarried his divorcee from betrothal after she was betrothed to another.

27. If a rumor spread that she was betrothed to a certain man, and another similar rumor spread that she was betrothed to someone else—one gives a get and one marries her, whether the first or the second.

Laws of Marriage, Chapter 9

28. In a place where it is customary to send gifts to the betrothed woman after she becomes betrothed, and witnesses come who saw that gifts were brought to her, we are concerned that perhaps she was betrothed; and she requires a get out of doubt, even though most people in the city only send gifts before the betrothal. But in a place where everyone is accustomed to send the gifts first and only afterwards perform the betrothal, and gifts were seen, we are not concerned.

29. If a kesubah document is established, if it is the practice of some people in that place to perform the betrothal and only afterwards write the kesubah, we are concerned: even if there is no scribe present, we do not say that perhaps the scribe who was found wrote it in advance. But if it is the practice of all the people in that place to write the kesubah before the betrothal, we are not concerned.

30. If two say, "We saw her become betrothed on a certain day," and two say, "We did not see her," even though they all dwell in the same courtyard, she is betrothed; for "we did not see her" is not proof, since it is the way of people to perform betrothal privately.

31. If one witness says, "She is betrothed," and she says, "I was not betrothed," she is permitted. If one says, "She is betrothed," and one says, "She is not betrothed," she should not marry; but if she did marry, she does not have to leave, since she says, "I was not betrothed." If she said, "I am betrothed," and after some time she stood and accepted betrothal for herself, if she gave a reason for her words and said, "Because of such and such I said at first that I was betrothed," and we see substance in her words, she is permitted to the second man. But if she did not give a reason, or she gave one but it has no substance, she is forbidden, and the second betrothal is a doubtful betrothal. Therefore, he must give her a get, and she will be forbidden to him and to everyone, until her (first) betrothed comes. Similarly, a woman who came and said, "I am a married woman," and then said, "I am single," if she gave a reason for her words and there is substance to her words, she is believed.