022 - הִלְכוֹת אִסּוּרֵי בִּיאָה פֵּרֶק כב

Laws of Issurei Bi'ah, Chapter 22

1. It is forbidden to be secluded (yichud) with one of the arayos, whether old or young, for this leads to uncovering nakedness, except a mother with her son, a father with his daughter, and a husband with his wife who is a niddah. A groom whose wife became a niddah before he had relations with her is forbidden to be secluded with her; rather, he sleeps among the men and she sleeps among the women. If he had first relations with her and she afterwards became impure, he is permitted to be secluded with her.

2. Jews were not suspected of relations with males or with animals; therefore there is no prohibition on being secluded with them. If one keeps away even from seclusion with a male or an animal, this is praiseworthy; and the greatest of the Sages used to keep animals away so as not to be secluded with them. The prohibition of seclusion with the arayos is from the oral tradition.

3. When the incident of Amnon and Tamar occurred, David and his beis din decreed against seclusion with an unmarried woman, even though she is not an ervah, including her in the prohibition of seclusion with the arayos; and Shammai and Hillel decreed against seclusion with non-Jews. Thus anyone who is secluded with a woman with whom seclusion is forbidden, whether Jewish or non-Jewish, both of them receive lashes for rebelliousness, the man and the woman, and it is publicly announced about them. The exception is a married woman: even though it is forbidden to be secluded with her, if he was secluded with her they do not receive lashes, so as not to give her the bad name that she committed zenus, which would give her children the bad name that they are mamzerim.

4. Any woman with whom it is forbidden to be secluded: if his wife was with him, seclusion is permitted, because his wife guards him. But a Jewish woman may not be secluded with a non-Jew even though his wife is with him, for the non-Jew's wife does not guard him, and they have no shame.

5. Likewise we do not hand over a Jewish child to a non-Jew to teach him reading or to teach him a trade, because they are all under suspicion of relations with males. We do not place animals in inns of non-Jews, even males with males and females with females.

6. We do not hand over animals, beasts or birds to a non-Jewish shepherd, even males to a non-Jewish man and females to a non-Jewish woman, because they are all under suspicion of bestiality. We have already explained that they are forbidden relations with males and with animals, and it says, "וְלִפְנֵי עִוֵּר, לֹא תִתֵּן מִכְשֹׁל" ("before the blind you shall not place a stumbling block," Vayikra 19:14).

7. Why do we not hand over a female animal to a non-Jewish woman? Because they are all presumed adulterers, and when the adulterer comes to lie with this woman he may not find her and lie with the animal; or even if he finds her, he may lie with the animal.

8. One woman may not be secluded even with many men unless the wife of one of them is there; and likewise one man may not be secluded even with many women. Where many women are with many men, we are not concerned about seclusion. If the men were outside and the women inside, or the men inside and the women outside, and a woman left to be among the men, or a man to be among the women, they are forbidden on account of seclusion. Even a man whose business and work is with women is forbidden to be secluded with women. What should he do? He should do business with them with his wife present, or turn to other work.

9. It is permitted to be secluded with two sisters-in-law (yevamos), or with two co-wives, or with a woman and her mother-in-law, or with a woman and her husband's daughter, or with a woman and her mother-in-law's daughter, because they hate each other and will not cover up for each other. Likewise it is permitted to be secluded with a woman who has with her a young girl old enough to understand such a matter, for the woman will not commit zenus in front of her, since the girl would reveal her secret.

10. It is permitted to be secluded with a girl aged three or younger and a boy aged nine or younger, for the decree applies only above these ages.

11. An androgynous person may not be secluded with women; but if he was secluded, we do not give him lashes, because he is a case of doubt. A man, however, may be secluded with an androgynous person and with a tumtum.

12. A married woman whose husband is in the city need not be concerned about seclusion, because fear of her husband is upon her. But if the man was familiar with her, for instance if she grew up with him or she was his relative, he may not be secluded with her even though her husband is in the city. Likewise anyone who is with a woman and the door is open to the public domain: we are not concerned about seclusion.

13. One who has no wife should not teach children, because the mothers of the boys come to the school for their sons and he would come to be stirred up by the women. Likewise a woman should not teach young children, because of their fathers who come on account of their sons and would end up secluded with her. A teacher does not need his wife to stay with him in the school; rather, she is in her home and he teaches in his place.

14. The Sages enacted that women should talk with one another in the privy, so that no man should enter, on account of seclusion.

15. We do not appoint even a trustworthy, upright person to be the guard of a courtyard that has women in it, even though he stands outside, for there is no guardian against the arayos. A person is forbidden to appoint an overseer over his house, lest he lead his wife into sin.

16. A Torah scholar is forbidden to live in a courtyard in which a widow lives, even though he is not secluded with her, because of suspicion, unless his wife is with him. Likewise a widow is forbidden to raise a dog, because of suspicion. A woman should not acquire male slaves, even young ones, because of suspicion.

17. We do not expound the secrets of the arayos to three, because one is occupied with questioning the teacher, the other two discuss the matter with each other and their minds are not free to listen; and because a person's mind is drawn close to the arayos, if something he heard is in doubt he rules leniently. Therefore we expound only to two, so that the one listening has his mind free and knows what he hears from the teacher.

18. There is nothing in the entire Torah that is harder for most people than to keep away from the arayos and from forbidden relations. The Sages said that when Israel were commanded about the arayos, they wept and accepted this mitzvah with complaint and weeping, as it says, "בֹּכֶה לְמִשְׁפְּחֹתָיו" ("weeping by their families," Bamidbar 11:10), that is, over matters of families.

19. The Sages said: Robbery and the arayos, a person's soul desires them and covets them. You will not find a community in any era that does not include those who are wanton regarding the arayos and forbidden relations. The Sages said: The majority fall into robbery, a minority into the arayos, and all into a trace of lashon hara.

20. Therefore a person should subdue his inclination in this matter, and accustom himself to extra holiness, pure thought and a sound mind, in order to be saved from them. He should be careful about seclusion, which is the great cause. The greatest of the Sages used to say to their students, "Watch me because of my daughter, watch me because of my daughter-in-law," to teach the students not to be embarrassed about this, and to keep away from seclusion.

21. Likewise he should make a practice of keeping away from levity, from drunkenness and from words of lust, for these are great causes and they are the steps leading to the arayos. He should not remain without a wife, for this practice leads to great purity. Greater than all this, they said: He should turn himself and his thoughts to words of Torah and broaden his mind with wisdom, for the thought of the arayos overpowers only a heart empty of wisdom; and of wisdom it says, "אַיֶּלֶת אֲהָבִים, וְיַעֲלַת-חֵן: דַּדֶּיהָ, יְרַוֻּךָ בְכָל-עֵת; בְּאַהֲבָתָהּ, תִּשְׁגֶּה תָמִיד" ("a beloved hind and a graceful gazelle; her breasts will satisfy you at all times; with her love you will always be enraptured," Mishlei 5:19).