Parshas Chayei Sarah
1. In this week's parsha it is related how Avraham Avinu instructed Eliezer his servant: "But you shall go to my land and to my birthplace, and take a wife for my son, for Yitzchak."[1] And to Eliezer's question, "Perhaps the woman will not wish to follow me to this land; shall I then bring your son back . . . ?"[2] Avraham answered: "Beware lest you bring [my son] back . . . G‑d . . . will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there."[3]
Further on in the parsha, where it is related how Eliezer repeated to Besuel the words Avraham had said to him, it says:[4] "And he (Avraham) said to me, 'G‑d, before Whom [I have walked], will send His angel with you and make your way prosper, and you shall take a wife for my son from my family . . .'"
This needs to be understood: Why did Eliezer change Avraham's wording, and instead of "He will send His angel before you" say "He will send His angel with you"?[5][6]
One cannot answer that this is no more than a change of wording which does not alter the content (for we see that in the verses there are a number of changes in Eliezer's wording when he repeated Avraham's words, compared to Avraham's own words)[7] — because already in an earlier parsha[8] Rashi (in his commentary on the Torah) addresses a similar change and explains it: "'Noach walked with G‑d,' but regarding Avraham it says,[9] 'before Whom I walked.' Noach needed support to hold him up, but Avraham strengthened himself and walked in his righteousness on his own." From this it is proven that the change between "with" and "before" is a difference in content, which demands an explanation (also) according to the plain meaning.
Accordingly it is not understood: Why does Rashi in our parsha not address the change between "before you" and "with you"?[10]
We must say that since Rashi has already explained earlier the difference between the two expressions and the reason for the change, when one learns the story in our parsha the reason why Eliezer changed Avraham's words is already self-understood.
2. The explanation of this may be said as follows: The difference in meaning (and content) between "with you" and "before you" is according to the plain sense of the words. "With you" means "together with you," and "before you" means "ahead of you." That is, "He will send His angel with you" means that the angel will go together with Eliezer and help him carry out the mission successfully — in the words of Rashi cited above (regarding Noach), "support to hold him up"; whereas "He will send His angel before you" means that the angel will go "on ahead" and secure the success of Eliezer's mission in advance.[11]
This is a fundamental difference in the manner of the action and of the success:
In the first case, the main thing is the effort on Eliezer's part; the angel will only add assistance ("support to hold him up") so that his effort will succeed;
but "He will send His angel before you" means that the angel will not only assist with and in the effort, but will prepare and secure the success of Eliezer's effort beforehand.
3. And this is what Avraham intended by saying "He will send His angel before you": that Eliezer's success in his mission should be in such a way that G‑d ensures from the outset that the matter will come about properly, without difficulties — and so indeed it was:
Right at the beginning of the course of events: arriving in "Aram Naharayim . . . by the well of water,"[12] Eliezer did not even have to wait, for "behold, Rivkah came out . . ."[13] Moreover, this was not a result of Eliezer's prayer, "Please arrange it for me today . . . ,"[14] in its completeness — for the verse says,[15] "And it was, before he had finished speaking, that behold, Rivkah came out . . ." (even before he had finished his prayer).[16] It had been arranged from Above from the outset that she should come right after Eliezer's arrival.
And so it was both on Eliezer's part, for (as Rashi says[17]) "the land contracted for him," and on Rivkah's part, that she went out of her house in such a way that "it was, before he had finished speaking, that behold, Rivkah came out . . ."
[For the fact that G‑d waited (with Rivkah's coming to the well) until (the conclusion of) Eliezer's prayer[18] was only so that, through the sign he had set for himself in his prayer, he would be able to know that "she is the woman whom G‑d has designated for my master's son";[19]
but her actual coming had already been ensured, as above, even before he prayed.]
So too in the middle of the matter and of the conversation: when Besuel wanted to hold up the match, "an angel came and killed him";[20]
And so too at the conclusion of the matter: when Eliezer wanted Rivkah to go with him immediately (not as "her brother and her mother" insisted, that "the maiden should remain with us some days, or ten"[21]), and the answer to this was "Let us call the maiden and ask her," Rivkah immediately answered: "I will go."[22]
For seemingly, we do not find that Eliezer had spoken with her beforehand about the match at all[23] (he had only given her gifts[24] of jewelry,[25] etc.), in such a way that she would have had time to think it over and consider it; and nevertheless, as soon as she was asked whether she agreed to the match, she said "I will go" — and as Rashi adds and explains: "I will go — on my own, even if you do not wish it"! This means: G‑d brought it about[26] that she would agree without any effort on Eliezer's part.[27]
4. According to this we will also understand why Eliezer changed Avraham's words and said "He will send His angel with you" — because with Besuel such words ("He will send His angel before you") would not have been accepted:
When Eliezer spoke with Besuel and wanted his consent to the match, there was no place to relate that Avraham had said "He will send His angel before you" — which means (as above) that the matter will be accomplished already beforehand, before Eliezer's coming and without his effort. For if so (Besuel would have argued), what is the point of all the talk and negotiation with him? According to you, the "angel" has already done everything . . .
Therefore Eliezer had to change it[28] and say "He will send His angel with you."[29]
According to the above, another change in Eliezer's words, differing from what actually happened, is better understood. He gave Rivkah the "golden nose ring . . ." before he asked her "Whose daughter are you?",[30] and when relating this to Besuel (as Rashi[31] says) "he changed the order . . . so that they should not catch him in his words and say, 'How could you give her [gifts] when you do not yet know who she is?'":
The reason Eliezer gave Rivkah the gifts before he knew "who she is" was that, knowing that Avraham had said "He will send His angel before you," and especially seeing that "before he had finished speaking, behold, Rivkah came out," and that she conducted herself in accordance with the sign, he already understood and knew that the angel had ensured this beforehand; consequently he was certain that "the Holy One, blessed be He, had made his way prosper."[32]
Whereas according to the way he told it to Besuel, changing "(He will send His angel) before you" to "(He will send His angel) with you," there is no room for such certainty as to give her the gifts before he knows "who she is"; and therefore "he changed the order . . . so that they should not catch him in his words . . . how could you give, etc."
5. Although simply and openly Eliezer did not relate the detail of "He will send His angel before you," he did allude to it (and so the change is even smaller) by adding the words "(He will send His angel with you) and make your way prosper" (which are not found explicitly in Avraham's words). [Similarly, when he retold his prayer, he added (to the wording of his prayer) "G‑d . . . if You will now make my way prosper . . ."[33]]
The explanation of this:
The true meaning of success (hatzlachah) is (not when a person succeeds through toil, but) what G‑d gives a person.[34] As it says regarding Yosef,[35] "And G‑d was with Yosef, and he was a successful man . . . G‑d made all that he did prosper in his hand . . . and whatever he did, G‑d made it prosper." And similarly Eliezer emphasized "and G‑d[36] has made my way prosper."
And it should be added that this is more than the achievement of "I toiled and I found."[37] For although the "finding" is out of proportion to the toil (as the precise wording "I found" indicates — an expression of a find, like a found object which comes without effort, with no more than the slightest exertion of picking it up), nevertheless the "I toiled" draws down and compels the "I found";[38]
whereas (true) "success" is not bound up with man's service at all; it is a gift from Above.[39]
It follows that the addition "(He will send His angel with you) and make your way prosper" carries within it the same content as "He will send His angel before you" — because "success" is when it comes as a gift from Above.
And therefore, when Eliezer brought out to Besuel how his prayer "if You will now make my way prosper" had been fulfilled (and "before I had finished speaking . . . behold, Rivkah came out . . ."[40]), Besuel immediately said:[41] "The matter has come from G‑d; we cannot speak to you bad or good." This is something which is done entirely from Above, by way of success, in such a manner that a human being cannot change anything in it.[42]
6. According to this we will also understand something seemingly puzzling in Avraham's words:
When Eliezer asked, "Perhaps the woman will not wish to follow me . . . ," Avraham answered him, "Beware . . . G‑d, the G‑d of heaven . . . will send His angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there" — G‑d will send an angel, and therefore Avraham promises him: "and you shall take a wife for my son from there."
This is not understood: How could Avraham assure Eliezer "and you shall take a wife for my son from there," when this depends on the will and the choice of the woman — especially since Avraham himself immediately continued, "And if[43] the woman will not wish to follow you, you shall be clear of this oath of mine . . ."?
But this is precisely the achievement of "He will send His angel before you": it comes from such a "place" which is "before," higher than man's toil (his service), and therefore the success in it (from G‑d) does not depend on the efforts of human deeds; and likewise, on the other hand, a person's will cannot "interfere" with the success.
And therefore, although there is free choice,[44] because of which there is (seemingly) the possibility of "And if the woman will not wish . . . ," it is nevertheless clear that in practice the matter will be accomplished,[45] "and you shall take a wife for my son from there" — a woman will be found who will choose to go with Eliezer.
7. It may be said that this is also one of the explanations[46] of the saying of our Sages,[47] "The conversation of the servants of the Patriarchs is more beautiful . . . than the Torah of the sons." For regarding "the Torah of the sons" there is the rule that "everything is in the hands of Heaven except the fear of Heaven";[48] with regard to Torah and mitzvos, free choice is not taken away from people. Whereas in Eliezer's mission there was the conduct of "He will send His angel before you" in a manner of "and make your way prosper": the success was ensured from Above even where it touches on free choice[49] (because "more beautiful . . . is the conversation of the servants of the Patriarchs than the Torah, etc.").
But for this, two conditions are required:
(a) One must be "servants of the Patriarchs" — and a servant is not an independent entity at all.
He has an existence, and an existence which accomplishes things, even great things, etc., but his entire existence is the existence of the master[50] ("whatever a servant acquires, his master acquires"[51]);
and (b) in addition there must be "conversation" (sichah) — "sichah means nothing other than prayer"[52] — the clear recognition that one cannot rely on one's own powers, but must pray to G‑d.
And through this utter self-nullification one becomes a vessel[53] for the conduct of "He will send His angel before you, and you shall take . . . ," by way of success.
8. Although "the conversation of the servants of the Patriarchs" is higher than "the Torah of the sons," nevertheless "the conversation of the servants of the Patriarchs" is (also) placed within "the Torah of the sons" — it is an entire parsha in their Torah.
From this itself it is understood that the sons too can attain the quality of (— "become") "servants of the Patriarchs."
And this is the practical lesson one takes from "the parsha of Eliezer" — especially for those who have merited to be occupied in the mission of the "Patriarchs" of each and every generation, our Rebbeim, our leaders, in the work of strengthening Judaism and spreading Torah (including "spreading your wellsprings outward"):
There are those who think that this mission consists only of doing, but regarding the results of their actions they are not masters at all. The emissary agrees that he must be devoted to the mission "with all his strength,"[54] to the point that he has no peace of mind, neither he nor his household, being occupied all day in fulfilling the mission;
but over the other person (whom he seeks to influence) he is not master. That person has free choice, and one cannot compel him to act against his (revealed) will!
On this one takes the lesson from the parsha of Eliezer: when one places oneself in the state of "servants of the Patriarchs" — total self-nullification, like a servant to his master — and in addition prays to the Holy One, blessed be He, for success in fulfilling one's mission, one is assured that "G‑d . . . will send His angel before you" and "make your way prosper":
G‑d assures him success in his mission [throughout the entire mission: in his going, in the place of the mission itself, and in returning from the place of the mission (this particular detail of it)[55]],
— and "you shall take a wife," that is, the Congregation of Israel, and one returns her "to her husband," the Holy One, blessed be He —
by arousing yet another Jew and yet another Jew and illuminating him, until that Jew becomes "a lamp to illuminate," an emissary of our Father in Heaven.
And as the Rambam rules (that although free choice is "a great principle" and "the pillar of the Torah and the mitzvah"[56]): "The Torah has already[57] promised that Israel will repent at the end of their exile, and they will immediately be redeemed."
(From the talks of Shabbos Parshas Chayei Sarah 5742 and 20 MarCheshvan 5744)
Key Lesson
Avraham told Eliezer that G‑d "will send His angel before you": the success would be arranged from Above in advance, beyond human effort and beyond even the free choice of others. That is why Rivkah appeared before Eliezer finished praying and agreed at once, "I will go." Whoever is engaged in the mission of the Rebbeim, spreading Torah and Judaism, can merit the same: by being a "servant of the Patriarchs," wholly devoted to the mission, and by praying for success, he is assured that G‑d will send His angel before him, so that his efforts truly reach and illuminate another Jew.