Parshas Mikeitz
1. It has been discussed several times1 that Rashi's way in his commentary on the Torah is to explain everything that is difficult and not understood in the plain meaning of Scripture. And matters that seemingly require explanation (in the plain meaning of the verses) which Rashi does not explain — this itself is proof that in Rashi's view they are understood simply, so much so that there is no need to explain them,2 or that they are understood on the basis of what Rashi explained earlier.
Accordingly, we must explain a great wonder that arises in studying the plain meaning of the verses in our parsha — and several commentators on the Torah have dealt with it3 — yet precisely Rashi, the foremost of the plain-meaning commentators, does not remark on it. It is this: Yosef surely knew how great his father's love for him was, and consequently he understood how great his father's pain and mourning over him were. Why, then, did he not let him know that he was still alive?!
This wonder concerns specifically the period spoken of in our parsha. In Parshas Vayeshev it is related that Yosef was brought to Egypt and sold as a slave, and afterwards he was put into the prison. It is understood that it was not possible for him to let his father know that he was alive.4 However, in the period of our parsha, when he became viceroy to the king and had the authority to do whatever he wished, it is not understood why he would leave his father in pain and mourning and not inform him, through the caravans travelling to Canaan (or through a messenger),5 that he was alive, and so revive his father's spirit.6
2. Seemingly one could say that this wonder is answered by what Rashi explained earlier, in Parshas Vayeshev:7 the reason that Yaakov mourned for his son "many days" was "כ״ב שנה משפרש ממנו עד שירד למצרים כו׳ כנגד כ״ב שנה שלא קיים יעקב כבוד אב ואם" ("twenty-two years, from when he parted from him until he went down to Egypt etc., corresponding to the twenty-two years that Yaakov did not fulfill the honor of father and mother").
Therefore Yosef did not send word to his father that he was still alive before twenty-two years had passed, for Yaakov's punishment had to be twenty-two years, corresponding to the twenty-two years that he did not fulfill the honor of father and mother.
However, Yosef's conduct cannot be explained this way, for:
a) From where did Yosef know that Yaakov had to receive a punishment of twenty-two years8 for not fulfilling the honor of father and mother?9 And even if we were to say that he knew this, then:
b) He could have let him know that he was alive without letting him know where he lived until the twenty-two years had passed, and he would be punished by the separation from him, corresponding to the twenty-two years that he was separated from Yitzchak.*9
c) And chiefly: the above does not at all justify Yosef's conduct. For even if a punishment was decreed on Yaakov from Heaven for not conducting himself with the honor of father and mother for twenty-two years, it is obvious that this does not give Yosef permission to punish his father by not letting him know10 that he was alive.11 An example of this: there is no room to say that the tribes were permitted, or even obligated, to sell Yosef — so that his dreams would be fulfilled and Yaakov's punishment would be carried out!
3. The explanation of this matter will be understood by first introducing Rashi's words in Parshas Vayeshev12 which require explanation. On the reason why the Holy One, blessed be He, did not reveal to Yaakov that Yosef was alive, Rashi explains: "לפי שהחרימו (השבטים) וקללו את כל מי שיגלה ושתפו להקב״ה עמהם … אבל יצחק הי׳ יודע שהוא חי אמר האיך אגלה והקב״ה אינו רוצה לגלות לו" ("Because they [the tribes] placed a ban and a curse on anyone who would reveal it, and they included the Holy One, blessed be He, with them … But Yitzchak knew that he was alive; he said: How can I reveal it when the Holy One, blessed be He, does not want to reveal it to him").13
This requires explanation: who was bound, and upon whom did this ban and curse take effect? One cannot explain that "they placed a ban and a curse on anyone who would reveal it to Yaakov" means that the ban took effect on every single person in the world who would reveal it to Yaakov,14 for if so, it is not understood: (a) the continuation of Rashi's words, "But Yitzchak knew … he said: How can I reveal it etc." — since the ban took effect on everyone, Yitzchak too was included in it and could not reveal it; (b) why did they need to include the Holy One, blessed be He, with them? After all, for this same reason the Holy One, blessed be He, so to speak, would also be unable to reveal it.15
We must therefore say that the ban took effect only on those who took part in the ban, and "anyone who would reveal it" refers to each one of those present at that gathering and participating in the ban; and therefore they needed to include the Holy One, blessed be He, with them. But accordingly, it still requires explanation:
a) Rashi's wording in the continuation of his words: "But Yitzchak … said: How can I reveal it when the Holy One, blessed be He, does not want to reveal it to him." Seemingly he should have said: the Holy One, blessed be He, is sworn not to reveal it.16 And from this —
b) Why did Yitzchak refrain from revealing it to Yaakov (for the reason that the Holy One, blessed be He, does not reveal it to him)? The Holy One, blessed be He, so to speak, could not reveal it since they had included Him in the ban; but this does not at all prevent Yitzchak from revealing it to Yaakov, for he was not a participant in the ban.17
c) Why this ban? It would have sufficed for them to agree among themselves that all those present at this gathering would not reveal it to Yaakov. And similarly regarding the Holy One, blessed be He — to pray and request that He not reveal it.18 What need was there for a ban?
d) We do not find in the plain meaning of Scripture (or in Rashi's commentary)19 that the tribes released the ban before they informed Yaakov that Yosef was alive.
4. Now, some commentators20 explain Rashi's intent in line with Midrash Tanchuma21 — the source of Rashi's commentary — where it says: "אמרו נחרים בינינו שלא יגיד אחד ממנו ליעקב אבינו אמר להם יהודה ראובן אינו כאן ואין החרם מתקיים אלא בעשרה מה עשו שתפו להקב״ה באותו החרם שלא יגיד לאביהם … ואף הקב״ה … לא הגיד מפני החרם" ("They said: Let us make a ban among ourselves that none of us tell our father Yaakov. Yehudah said to them: Reuven is not here, and a ban takes effect only with ten. What did they do? They included the Holy One, blessed be He, in that ban, that He not tell their father … And even the Holy One, blessed be He … did not tell, because of the ban").
— They explain that they included the Holy One, blessed be He, in the making of the ban and its taking effect upon them, since it takes effect only with ten; and this has nothing at all to do with the Holy One, blessed be He, not revealing the matter.22 And the Holy One, blessed be He, did not reveal it because He does not treat their ban lightly.
Accordingly, it is explained why they included the Holy One, blessed be He, in the ban; and also the conclusion of Rashi's words is explained — "the Holy One, blessed be He, does not want to reveal it to him" (and not "is sworn not to reveal it"), because the Holy One, blessed be He, Himself was not among those bound by the ban (as above), and the fact that He did not reveal it to Yaakov was only because "He did not want to reveal it to him"; and therefore Yitzchak, too, said "How can I reveal it."
However, Rashi's commentary cannot be explained this way in its simple sense, for
[in addition to the fact that Rashi does not explain when they made the ban — and on the contrary, it is reasonable to say that they made it specifically after Reuven returned to them (so that they were ten), so that it would also take effect on him; for otherwise Rashi would have had to explain why Reuven did not reveal it]
in the plain meaning of Scripture and in Rashi's commentary there is no hint at all that a ban takes effect only with ten, and Rashi should have explained it. So it seems one is compelled to explain (as above) that Rashi's intent in "they included the Holy One, blessed be He, with them" is that the Holy One, blessed be He, so to speak, was also bound by it. And all the (above) questions stand in full force.
5. Now, the commentators on Rashi23 raised a further question: from where did the tribes know that the Holy One, blessed be He, agrees to the ban? After all, even a human being cannot be included unless he agrees to it — so how did they include the Holy One, blessed be He, without knowing that He agreed?24 And they explained several reasons why the tribes knew that the Holy One, blessed be He, would not want to reveal it to Yaakov and that the Holy One, blessed be He, would agree to their ban:
a) So that the Covenant Between the Parts would be fulfilled and Yaakov and his sons would go down to Egypt.25 b) So that Yaakov would be punished corresponding to the twenty-two years that he did not fulfill the honor of father and mother.26 c) So that Yaakov would not curse his sons,27 "ונמצאו ישראל התלויים בזרעו של יעקב בטלים ח״ו מן העולם" ("and Israel, who depend on the seed of Yaakov, would be, G‑d forbid, wiped out from the world").28
But29 [in addition to the difficulty that exists in each explanation on its own30], Rashi's intent cannot be explained this way:
Rashi continues, "But Yitzchak knew that he was alive; he said: How can I reveal it when the Holy One, blessed be He, does not want to reveal it to him" — that he is alive. And the reason why the Holy One, blessed be He, does not want to reveal it is stated explicitly: "Because they placed a ban and a curse on anyone who would reveal it, and they included the Holy One, blessed be He, with them." So we must say that the ban and the curse applied (not only to whoever would reveal the whole episode of the sale of Yosef, but) also to whoever would reveal that Yosef was alive.31 And the above reasons only require that the Holy One, blessed be He, not reveal the whole story (that the tribes sold him to the caravan of Yishmaelim and brought him down to Egypt etc.); but it would have been possible to reveal to Yaakov that Yosef was alive, without letting him know where he was and what had befallen him until after twenty-two years, when the years of famine would come, Yosef would be viceroy to the king, and Yaakov would be compelled to go down to Egypt — and thereby (a) the Covenant Between the Parts would be fulfilled, and also (b) Yaakov's twenty-two-year punishment for not fulfilling the honor of father and mother,32 (c) and he would not curse his sons, for why would he suspect that they had sold him?33
6. The explanation of all the above will be understood by first introducing a further wonder: how is it possible that not one of Yaakov's sons was stirred to repent over the sale of Yosef, to confess and tell Yaakov that they had sold Yosef and that he was still alive? Especially since we find in our parsha34 that ultimately they all regretted it: "ויאמרו איש אל אחיו אבל אשמים אנחנו על אחינו אשר ראינו צרת נפשו בהתחננו אלינו גו׳" ("And they said to one another: Indeed, we are guilty concerning our brother, for we saw the anguish of his soul when he pleaded with us…").
But this was precisely their intent in making the ban. That is, from the outset they were concerned that later, when their anger subsided, one of them would surely regret it and want to reveal it to Yaakov (and thereby harm the rest). Therefore "they placed a ban and a curse on anyone who would reveal it," meaning that no single one of them (or some of them) has permission to reveal the matter to Yaakov (but certainly there is no reason to say that they banned it in such a way that even if all of them decided of their own accord to reveal it, it would still be forbidden for them to reveal it).35
But there was still a concern that one of them (or most of them) would want to force the rest to listen to him and reveal it to Yaakov — as Rashi explains,36 that his brothers said, "אילו אמרת להשיבו היינו שומעים לך" ("Had you told us to return him, we would have listened to you"). Therefore they included the Holy One, blessed be He, with them in the ban they made — meaning that the decision whether (and when) to reveal it to Yaakov depends on the Holy One, blessed be He — and even all of them together are not permitted to reveal it and transgress the ban except with the participation and consent of the Holy One, blessed be He37 (but the intent is not that they included the Holy One, blessed be He, in the ban so that He is compelled not to reveal it, for they did not know whether the Holy One, blessed be He, agreed to this, as above38).
And the fact that the Holy One, blessed be He, did not reveal it, "because they placed a ban … and included the Holy One, blessed be He, etc.," means: since they included the Holy One, blessed be He, in that they would not reveal it to Yaakov without His consent and participation, therefore (even though in the ban they made they did not intend that the Holy One, blessed be He, would be forbidden to reveal it without their consent) He Himself, so to speak, joined with them, so that the annulment of the ban and the revelation of the matter to Yaakov would come specifically through the partnership of all of them (the Holy One, blessed be He, and the tribes) together.
Accordingly, we understand Rashi's explanation, "(And why did the Holy One, blessed be He, not reveal it to him? Because they placed a ban and a curse on anyone who would reveal it and included the Holy One, blessed be He, with them.) But Yitzchak knew that he was alive; he said: How can I reveal it when the Holy One, blessed be He, does not want to reveal it to him."
For the reason the Holy One, blessed be He, did not reveal it to Yaakov was not that He was compelled to uphold the ban the tribes had made, but rather that He did not want to reveal it to him, as above. And from this Yitzchak learned and said, "How can I reveal it when the Holy One, blessed be He, does not want to reveal it to him."
Accordingly, Yosef's reason for not sending word to Yaakov that he was alive is also understood: since he knew that the Holy One, blessed be He, does not want to reveal it to Yaakov, this is an indication that Yaakov does not yet need to know that he is alive; and (Yosef, too) said, "How can I reveal it when the Holy One, blessed be He, does not want to reveal it to him."
7. However, it still requires explanation: because of the ban, the tribes were forbidden to inform Yaakov that Yosef was alive; and also, how did Yosef tell them to inform Yaakov that he was alive, since the Holy One, blessed be He, does not reveal it? But this, too, is explained according to Rashi's commentary. In our parsha,39 on the verse "וירא יעקב כי יש שבר במצרים" ("And Yaakov saw that there was grain [shever] in Egypt"), Rashi explains: "ומהו וירא ראה באספקלריא של קדש שעדיין יש לו שבר במצרים ולא היתה נבואה ממש להודיעו שזה יוסף" ("What is 'and he saw'? He saw in a holy mirror [prophetic vision] that he still had hope [sever] in Egypt; but it was not actual prophecy to inform him that this was Yosef"). And the tribes, who knew that Yosef was in Egypt, understood that this vision in the holy mirror meant that the Holy One, blessed be He, was announcing that the time was beginning for them to search and seek out Yosef and tell Yaakov. Therefore "וירדו אחי יוסף" ("And Yosef's brothers went down") — "שהיו מתחרטין במכירתו ונתנו לבם להתנהג עמו באחוה ולפדותו בכל ממון שיפסקו עליהם" ("for they regretted his sale and set their hearts to treat him with brotherhood and to redeem him for whatever money would be demanded of them").40
The same applied to Yosef's revealing himself. When he saw that they were striving to find him,41 he understood that there was something behind it. But since he did not know with certainty that the time had come — and further, and chiefly, if he informed Yaakov before the tribes informed him, it would harm Yaakov's relationship with them etc. — therefore he did not himself inform Yaakov through a messenger etc., but rather said to the tribes, "אני יוסף אחיכם" ("I am Yosef your brother"). And they, who had made the ban, would surely know when the Holy One, blessed be He, wanted to reveal it to Yaakov, and they would tell Yaakov: "עוד יוסף חי" ("Yosef is still alive").
(From the sicha of Shabbos Parshas Mikeitz, 5733)
Notes
1) See above, p. 13, and the sources noted in note 1 there.
2) When there is no answer (by way of plain meaning), Rashi writes "איני יודע" ("I do not know") (Toldos 28:5, and in many other places; see Likkutei Sichos vol. 5, p. 1, note 2).
3) See Ramban on our parsha, 42:9; Rabbeinu Baalei HaTosafos, 42:1; Akeidah on our parsha (Shaar 29, near its end); Ohr HaChaim, Vayigash (45:27); and elsewhere.
4) In Rabbeinu Baalei HaTosafos there (and see also the Akeidah there): "When he was a slave he did not want to tell him, for it would pain him more; and likewise when he was in prison." But in the plain meaning of Scripture this is not sufficient, for by informing him, at least he would no longer "mourn" for him, even though he would still have pain (and see Rashi, Vayeshev 37:35: "This sign was given to me … if none of them dies [in my lifetime] … I am assured that I will not see Gehinnom"). In simple terms, we must say as in the text: while he was a slave and in prison he was not at all his own master to inform Yaakov (especially since this would raise the concern of a claim for his release, as in Yosef's claim, "כי גונב גנבתי מארץ העברים" ("For I was indeed stolen from the land of the Hebrews") (Vayeshev 40:15)). Regarding the other answers in Rabbeinu Baalei HaTosafos, see below, notes 6 and 14.
5) Especially since "קרוב הוא" ("it was near") (beginning of Parshas Beshalach) — Egypt is near to Chevron, a journey of four or five days (Rabbeinu Baalei HaTosafos there), about six days (Ramban there).
6) In Rabbeinu Baalei HaTosafos there: "And also when he was king, [Yaakov] would not believe him, for even at the end, when his brothers told him, he did not believe." But it is understood that according to the plain meaning of Scripture this is not a sufficient reason for Yosef not to inform his father, for ultimately Yaakov did believe through the sign he gave them (Rashi, Vayigash 45:27); it would still have been possible to send some sign through a messenger or a caravan, etc.
In the Ramban there: "Therefore he did not want to tell them, 'I am Yosef your brother,' and to say, 'Hurry and go up to my father etc.,' as he did with them the second time, for his father would have come immediately, without doubt etc. But he did everything properly in its time, to fulfill the dreams, for he knew that they would truly be fulfilled. Also the second thing that he did to them with the goblet — it was not his intention to pain them, but he thought that perhaps they harbored hatred toward Binyamin etc." See there.
The reason Rashi did not answer this way may be that (in addition to the fact that the above only answers why he did not inform him after his brothers had already come to him, but it is still difficult why he did not inform his father during the seven years before his brothers came to Egypt), even regarding this period it is not reasonable in the plain meaning of Scripture that Yosef would leave his father in pain and mourning so that the dreams would be fulfilled (as the Akeidah asked (Shaar 29, end of the section Vayeshev–Mikeitz), and the Chasam Sofer on the Torah there). Similarly difficult is what he concludes (there): "And he hoped to be there in Egypt, for when he saw his great success there, and all the more so after he heard Pharaoh's dream, it became clear to him that they would all come there and all his dreams would be fulfilled."
HaMe'asef (at the end of the omissions to tractate Berachos of the Jerusalem Talmud, Vilna 5682; New York 5719) answers that Yosef held that surely his father had commanded that he be punished for elevating himself etc. and sold as a slave, and therefore he did not inform him that he had risen to greatness, so as not to appear to be provoking him etc.; and he concludes: "So it seems to me the matter is simple (!)." But it is explicit in the verse: "לך נא ראה גו׳" ("Go now, see…") (37:14).
7) 37:34. It is from Megillah 16a.
8) See similarly elsewhere (cited below, note 30) regarding the tribes.
9) Especially since he knew that Yitzchak and Rivkah sent him to Paddan Aram to take a wife from the daughters of Lavan (Toldos 28:2).
*9) See below in the text, section 5, and in note 32.
10) It is understood that all this has no connection to the discussion of whether the children of Noach are obligated in honoring father and mother (see Rashi, end of Parshas Noach; and see Likkutei Sichos vol. 5, pp. 147, 153 ff., and the sources noted there), and whether such informing is included in honoring father and mother (cf. the letter of the Alter Rebbe, printed in Meah She'arim 7a). For in any case it is obvious that Yosef would not cause pain to anyone at all over many years — especially such great pain, and above all to his father Yaakov!
11) Similar to what is explained in Iggeres HaKodesh (Epistle 25): although it was decreed from Heaven upon the one who is harmed, nevertheless the Omnipresent has many agents, and [the one who harms] is punished for his evil choice.
12) There, 32.
13) In the second printing of Rashi (Guadalajara, 5236): "But Yitzchak, who was not there, knew that he was alive, and said: The Holy One, blessed be He, does not want to reveal it to him; I too will not reveal it."
14) This is similarly implied by Rabbeinu Baalei HaTosafos (Vayeshev 37:35): "From here one can prove that when the community agrees on a matter by force of a ban, and there is one dissenter among them who, even though he says etc. 'I will not enter the ban with them,' he too is in that covenant against his will. For Yosef did not enter the ban, and nevertheless Yosef did not want to reveal and inform his father that he was alive." See also Rabbeinu Bachaye (there, 33, at the end), on Binyamin not revealing it: "For all nine agreed, and the Holy One, blessed be He, joined with them, that the matter not be revealed to Yaakov."
And Rabbeinu Baalei HaTosafos in Parshas Mikeitz wrote: "Rather, they placed a ban among themselves and also included the Holy One, blessed be He, and they also made Yosef swear not to reveal it. The verse proves this, as it is written (Vayigash 45:1), 'הוציאו כל איש מעלי' ('Remove every man from before me') — for he did not want to reveal it to strangers because of the oath." So too writes the Pane'ach Raza (Vayigash there): "that he too was included in the ban and the oath not to reveal that they had sold him." But in the plain meaning of Scripture it is difficult to say that together with selling Yosef — even though they saw "צרת נפשו בהתחננו" ("the anguish of his soul when he pleaded") (42:21) — they included Yosef in the ban (or also made him swear) against his will (and that this ban takes effect even though it is possible that by revealing it to Yaakov he would redeem him from Egypt!). And furthermore, to say that all this is so simple that Rashi need not even hint at it — even for a five-year-old!
15) One cannot say that in that case the Holy One, blessed be He, is not compelled to accept the ban not to reveal it, for even when they included the Holy One, blessed be He, He is not, so to speak, compelled to accept this and not reveal it, as below in the text. See also the Yefeh To'ar cited in note 23.
16) As the Re'em asked, according to his answer — see below, section 5, and note 25.
17) In the Maskil LeDavid: "Since the Holy One, blessed be He, agreed to the ban, no person can transgress it, similar to our ruling that one who is excommunicated for the teacher is excommunicated for the student etc.; and this is what Yitzchak said, 'How can I reveal it when the Holy One, blessed be He, etc.' — consequently I too am included in the prohibition." But in the plain meaning of Scripture there is no compelling reason to say that since the Holy One, blessed be He, agreed to their request to join them, a prohibition to reveal it applies to every person. In addition: from Rashi's wording, "he said: How can I reveal it etc.," it is implied that he was not included in the prohibition against revealing it.
18) One cannot say that through prayer they would not have certainty that the Holy One, blessed be He, would not reveal it, and therefore they needed to include Him — for even when they included Him there is no certainty that the Holy One, blessed be He, agrees to join them, as above.
19) Unlike the Midrash etc.: see Tanchuma, Vayeshev 2: "והתירו את החרם" ("and they released the ban"). So too in Rabbeinu Baalei HaTosafos there; Baal HaTurim, Vayigash 45:26. It is also cited in the Beis Yosef, Yoreh De'ah, siman 228 (s.v. VehaRashbatz), in the name of the Rashbatz. And elsewhere.
20) See Gur Aryeh there: "However, from the words of the Midrash etc."
21) There. See also Zohar I, 183b, and Nitzutzei Oros there.
In Rabbeinu Bachaye, Rashi's wording — "And why did the Holy One, blessed be He, not reveal it to him? Because they placed a ban and a curse etc. and included the Holy One, blessed be He, with them" — is cited in the name of Pirkei DeRabbi Eliezer; but in our edition of Pirkei DeRabbi Eliezer (with the commentary of the Radal), chapter 38, it appears in a different form.
22) But from the wording of the Midrash, "they included the Holy One, blessed be He, in that ban, that He not tell their father," this is not implied.
23) See Gur Aryeh and Levush HaOrah; and see also the Yefeh To'ar (Bereishis Rabbah, beginning of chapter 91), who wrote on what is said in the Midrash there — that it was revealed to Yaakov that Yosef was alive: "And even though the tribes placed a ban etc. and also included the Holy One, blessed be He, nevertheless the Divine spirit is not obligated to accept the ban."
24) Levush HaOrah answered that one of them ascended to the Chariot and asked whether, if they did this thing of selling him, He would agree with them etc., and the answer came to them that they should do it etc.; see there. But it is understood that this is not the plain meaning of Scripture.
25) Re'em there. But he interprets Rashi's statement "and they included the Holy One, blessed be He, with them" not according to its simple meaning, writing: "Tanchuma explains that they had a tradition from their fathers that they were destined to go down to Egypt through the sale of one of the tribes; and since so, surely the Holy One, blessed be He, would not reveal this secret." But this is not cited in Rashi. He also brings a proof from the fact that "when they saw that with Yosef's sending to his father to go down to Egypt the decree of the Covenant Between the Parts was being fulfilled, they revealed the secret to Yaakov their father without releasing the ban." But his proof is not understood, for in the Tanchuma (which is the basis of his explanation) it is stated explicitly, "and they released the ban" (as above, note 19).
26) Mahari"k, Shoresh 37; cited in the Gur Aryeh. Levush HaOrah also writes this as the reason that the Holy One, blessed be He, agreed to the ban not to reveal it. However, the reason the tribes thought that the Holy One, blessed be He, would agree, he writes there, is that they had a tradition from their fathers that they were destined to go down through the sale of one of the tribes, as in the Re'em.
27) The Gra.
28) Rabbeinu Bachaye.
29) And also: is it not explicit in Rashi, "And why did the Holy One, blessed be He, not reveal it? Because they placed a ban and a curse and included the Holy One, blessed be He, with them" — and not for another reason? But see the Mahari"k there and the Gur Aryeh, who answered that the ban was effective so that Yaakov (and Yitzchak) could not annul the decree through his prayer.
30) Regarding the first reason, see note 25. See also the Gur Aryeh: "If so, at the end of the twenty-two years, when the Holy One, blessed be He, wanted Yaakov to go down to Egypt, it would have been fitting for the Holy One, blessed be He, to tell him." Regarding the second reason (because of Yaakov's twenty-two-year punishment), see the Gur Aryeh there: "If so, it is difficult: what were the tribes thinking? Surely they did not know of Yaakov's punishment — so what made them think that the Holy One, blessed be He, would agree with them?"* Regarding the third reason, that he not curse his sons etc., see Levush HaOrah at its beginning.
*) As for Levush HaOrah's answer, "The Re'em already wrote that they had a tradition from their fathers that they were destined to go down to Egypt through the sale of one of the tribes, and therefore they thought etc." — this is not cited (not even by hint) in Rashi.
31) Seemingly one could say that Rashi's intent is that they placed a ban and a curse only on whoever would reveal that they had sold Yosef, and not on one who reveals that he is alive. And this is what Rashi was precise in saying, "But Yitzchak knew that he was alive; he said: How can I reveal it when the Holy One, blessed be He, does not want to reveal it to him." That is: since the ban in which they included the Holy One, blessed be He, was only about not revealing to Yaakov that they had sold him,* and nevertheless the Holy One, blessed be He, does not reveal to Yaakov that he is alive (even though on this there was no ban), it is understood that the Holy One, blessed be He, does not want to reveal it;** and therefore "he said: How can I reveal it." But it is not at all reasonable that they made a ban only on not revealing to Yaakov that they had sold him, while permitting revealing that he was alive — for they brought Yaakov Yosef's coat dipped in blood, meaning that "חיה רעה אכלתהו" ("a wild beast has devoured him").
And the reason they needed this (that Yaakov should say that a wild beast had devoured him, and consequently to make the ban not to reveal also that he was alive) is that since Yaakov had sent Yosef to them and he was gone, there was room for a strong suspicion that they were guilty of it etc. Therefore they made efforts that he should say that a wild beast had devoured him.
*) So it seems implied by the version in manuscript Rashi: "that they placed a ban and a curse on anyone who would reveal the secret." But it does not appear in any of the printed editions.
**) But accordingly, the reason why the Holy One, blessed be He, did not reveal that he was alive is not understood.
32) The Gur Aryeh also asked this on this reason (for the sake of Yaakov's punishment), and Levush HaOrah answers: "Who revealed to him (to the Gur Aryeh) that it would be enough pain for Yaakov to know that his son was alive but lost to him and he did not know where he was? Perhaps G‑d wanted to pain him greatly in his punishment, by having Yaakov think he was dead, which would cause him more pain etc." But according to the plain meaning it is understood that punishment is "מדה כנגד מדה" ("measure for measure") (see also what is cited in the name of "old Rashi" at the end of Parshas Toldos), and we have already learned this (see Rashi, Noach 7:11; see also Rashi, Yisro 18:11; Naso 5:24; and elsewhere) — especially since here Yitzchak and Rivkah commanded him to go there to take a wife, as above, note 9.
33) In the Gur Aryeh: according to this reason, if he knew that he was alive, he would know on his own that the tribes had sold him, "since a wild beast had not devoured him." But he did not explain his words.* Also, even if he would suspect them of having sold him, "how could it enter any person's mind that G‑d would suspect our father Yaakov that out of his anger, because of Yosef alone, he would curse, G‑d forbid, all his sons and be bereaved of all of them in one day etc." — Levush HaOrah; see there.
*) In Rashi (our parsha, 42:36): "This teaches that he suspected them that perhaps they had killed or sold him, like Yosef." But see the Maskil LeDavid there, that he now suspected them also regarding Yosef ("and before this it was not clear to him").
34) 42:21.
35) See also Pirkei DeRabbi Eliezer there: "They said: Let us make a ban among ourselves that not one of them tell the matter to our father Yaakov until it is with the permission of all of us."
36) 37:1.
37) Accordingly, Rashi's wording is all the more precise: "and they included the Holy One, blessed be He, with them," and not "they included the Holy One, blessed be He, in the ban."
38) See the responsum of the Mahari"k there: their including the Holy One, blessed be He, with them was on the doubt that perhaps the Holy One, blessed be He, would agree with them; as it became clear retroactively that He agreed, for He did not reveal it to our father Yaakov.
39) 42:1.
40) Rashi there, 3.
As for why they did not inform Yaakov immediately — because surely he would not have believed them, as indeed happened later. Therefore (and even without this it is understood that) at first they wanted to find him, redeem him, and bring him to Yaakov.
41) See Rashi there, 14.
Key Lesson
Yosef did not inform his father that he was alive, because he saw that G‑d Himself did not want to reveal it, and he understood this as a sign that the time had not yet come. When the brothers' ban was made "together with" G‑d, the revealing had to come from all of them together. The Sicha teaches that even a deed that seems urgent and good should be weighed against what G‑d shows us He wants, and that true repair comes when those who caused the harm themselves set it right.