6420 —המצבה החיה של קרוב שנפטר והנהגה יומיומית

B"H, 27 Tammuz, 5718.

Brooklyn.

Mrs. Shoshana, may she live.

Blessings and greetings!

After a long pause, your letter from the 15th of Tammuz was received, and its content concerns the inscription for the gravestone. You explain that there is a family story from the grandfather of the deceased, but you do not mention the wording of the inscription on the gravestone of the deceased’s father, who was the son of that grandfather. It is understood that certainly the deceased took part in composing it, and if it was done according to the family story, this serves as a guide for the gravestone of the deceased as well. However, in my opinion, it is appropriate to add to the title of the deceased’s father the term “the distinguished chossid,” and also to note that “he was among the great chassidim of the Rebbe Maharash and the Rebbe Rashab, of blessed memory, may their merit protect us,” so that the names of the leaders of Chabad, the leaders of Israel, will be mentioned on this gravestone. This should suffice.

May it be G‑d's will that from now on your letters will only be about matters of joy, complete joy.

With blessings for good news.

P.S. You do not mention in your letter anything about your health or that of your family members—surely this is a sign that all is well.

It is understood that the wording of the inscription must be specifically with the agreement of the living relatives of the departed. And certainly—and this is most important—they should reflect on the matter of the memorial: it is a stone monument and its inscription is engraved on stone, but the living relatives of the departed are themselves a living memorial, and their actions and daily conduct (not only on the yahrzeit or similar occasions) are the living inscription upon the living memorial. It is in their hands, and only in their hands, that its wording depends. In the words of our Sages: Bera kara d'Avuha (a child is a leg of his father).

Summary

The Rebbe teaches that our daily actions are a true living memorial to those who have passed away. The way we live each day shapes their ongoing legacy more than any physical monument can.